


One Night

by cats_pajamies



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2019-07-04 01:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15831138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cats_pajamies/pseuds/cats_pajamies
Summary: It started in high school, and it ends in college. One night between friends Roman and Logan changes everything. What even happened that night? And will the fallout destroy them?





	1. Chapter 1

Saying he did not want to be here was an understatement. If he had any choice in the matter he would rather be getting dental surgery than awkwardly standing in the corner of the room while everyone else was having what he assumed they were promised: the time of their lives.

After a bit longer of standing there people-watching and messing around on his phone, he felt someone grab his shoulder and turn him towards them.

“Lo! What are you doing standing here all by yourself?” Logan’s friend Patton asked, wrapping his arm around Logan.

He shrugged Patton’s arms off before replying, “Nothing important. Why?”

Patton smiled at him, not bothered by his arm being shrugged off. “Because you should be out there having fun! It’s your last chance to-”

He was cut off by Logan saying, “Make a fool out of myself in front most of our graduating class?”

“Come on, who cares if you embarrass yourself? You said it yourself, we’re probably never gonna see these people again, so what’s the big deal?” He responded with an exaggerated pout, clearly trying to guilt Logan into dancing.

He sighed. “I do not want to dance, please just leave it at that.” His hand movements highlighted that he was done with the conversation.

Patton tested his luck and said, “Ok, but Ro’s also looking for you,” hoping that the new information would change Logan’s mind.

For an instant, there was a glimmer of hope in Logan’s eyes. “Where is he? I’ll bring myself to him,” he asked, fiddling with his blue tie. He’d chosen it because it went the best with his black suit and because Patton wanted to match ties — although he was wearing a lighter blue that went very well with the grey in his outfit.

When he saw the glimmer in Logan’s eyes, Patton smiled. “That doesn’t change your mind about dancing?” he asked, somewhat teasing Logan.

Logan responded, “if anything, it makes me less willing to dance.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, messing up the previously well-styled hair.

“You know, I’m pretty sure he’d want to dance with you.” Patton teased with a mischievous smile on his face.

Logan replied, “and from him saying many times, I know he plans to get so ‘shitfaced’ that he can not remember tonight. So even if I wanted to dance with him I do not want to dance with a drunk him.” His firm voice would intimidate most people and have them slinking off.

Patton was not like most people. “Well, I don’t think he’s drunk yet,” he said, still trying to get Logan out of his shell.

“Patton, what are you trying to do here?” he asked, his voice sounding tired; as if they’ve had this conversation many times before and neither of them has changed their mind in that time.

Patton simply answered, “I want you to be happy.” The words were soft and caring, much like Patton himself, and Logan couldn’t be mad at him even if he wanted to be.

“I am happy,” Logan replied and it sounded truthful, but after all the years they’ve known each other Patton knew Logan enough to tell when he was lying.

Patton sighed before saying, “Lo, for the past 2 years you’ve been crushing on him. It’s made you miserable. Please just take the plunge, if it doesn’t work you won’t be torturing yourself with what ifs and if it does work out then you’ll have what you wanted.” He knew he should ease up a little, but he genuinely wanted Logan to be happy and he thought Logan could be happy with Roman.

His hand ran through his already messed up hair, making it look even messier than before. “It’s too late. There are only a few more weeks left until we both leave this place and go in different directions,” he replied, just wanting this night to be over with so he could go home, relax and hopefully not think of what it would be like to dance with Roman.

Patton retorted, “but you could be happy for those weeks,” with a smile on his face, trying to be polite while also showing what he could have.

“And then end up heartbroken after graduation?” was Logan’s reply, his voice bitter.

“But Lo…” Patton was practically pleading at this point. His need to see everyone happy was getting in the way of logic.

“No. Just drop it, please,” Logan replied firmly, in a way that made it certain that this was the end of the discussion, as he desperately tried to reinforce the walls he built around his heart to protect himself from the very pain that he was sure Patton’s advice would lead him to. The need to do things logically stopped him from truly living his life to its fullest potential.

Patton was done. He knew he wouldn’t be able to change Logan’s mind. “Ok, but I think you’re making the wrong choice,” he said, disappointment apparent in his voice.

“I know you do.” And that was the end of that. They talked about other subjects, like plans for college and graduation parties, until Patton got a text from Virgil and left to go find him.

Approximately 30 minutes later, Logan left the dance. He never did go find Roman, but that didn’t matter. When the dance ended and he had just finished up showering, he got a text from Roman.

“Where u @” was all it said, and Logan sighed, knowing that he would most likely end up having another conversation he didn’t want to have.

He quickly replied, “my place. Why?” as he flopped onto his bed.

Almost immediately, Roman texted back, “u left?” Logan sighed and not for the first time wondered how he fell for someone who could be such an idiot.

“If I am at home then obviously I left,” he replied, making sure to lay the sarcasm on thick in case Roman did end up getting drunk.

“Wanted to hang out with u :(” Those simple words made it feel like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

He shook his head before replying, “we can hang out tomorrow”

After a few minutes, Roman responded, “wanna do it now,” and Logan swore that Roman was going to be the death of him.

Logan rolled his eyes and texted, “are you drunk?” Somewhat, he hoped he was, so he would have a reason to avoid him.

“No y?” Roman texted back a bit later. It was still in a reasonable time, but almost like he had to delete something he had already typed.

Logan was a bit nervous, thinking that Roman could have been lying to him — before realizing a drunk Roman is a very honest, almost too honest person. “You said you were going to get 'shitfaced,’” he replied, wanting to make sure, even though he was fairly certain Roman wasn’t lying.

Roman responded with a simple, “joking.” For a split second, Logan was offended. thinking. “wow, I am only worth one word to him?” before realizing that Roman did not mean anything by it and that it was dumb to think that the ever-chivalrous Roman would ever be rude on purpose.

“Ok, then I’ll hang out with you. We could watch a movie at my place,” Logan offered, after thinking for a few minutes about what would be the safest option with the least risk of embarrassing himself.

Roman replied, “I got a better idea,” and those simple words made Logan’s heart pound with anticipation.

“What?” he asks, pretending like this moment doesn’t feel like the most important one of his life.

Immediately Roman texted, “U me party,” and Logan’s heart drops. He would never admit it to anyone, but he was hoping against all odds that Roman would suggest something a bit more intimate than an after-prom party.

He quickly typed, “no,” not wanting to go to a party that would most likely be way too loud and full of sloppy, drunk teenagers.

“Come on y not?” Roman replied, and Logan could practically hear the whining in his voice and see the pout that was no doubt on his face.

Logan responded, “I’m not a party type of person,” but he knew in his heart that Roman would probably wear him down and he would end up going to the party — and probably become the designated to Roman and any other drunk people he knew.

“Too late,” was all Roman said, and Logan’s mind started raising, trying to figure out whatever dumb thing Roman was in the process of doing.

Logan asked, “what do you mean ‘too late?’” debating if he really wanted to know the answer to that question.

“Already on my way,” Roman replied, and Logan hoped to god that he hadn’t lied earlier about not being drunk. After about a minute, another text went through. “Get dressed try to look good”

With an eye roll, Logan replied, “I hate you,” a twinge bit upset because the text implied that Roman didn’t think that Logan normally looked good.

“Love.” That one simple word caused Logan’s heart to start pounding and his face to blush. He shook his head as if the action could stop what he was feeling.

Logan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair as he got up and went to get dressed, picking out some skinny jeans that Virgil had gotten because he said that they made Logan’s ass look great and a NASA t-shirt from a couple of years ago because when someone inevitably spilled beer on him, he did not want to mess up one of his good shirts. As he waited outside for Roman, he sighed and messed around on his phone, trying to distract himself from coming to the logical conclusion that this would end horribly.

When Roman pulled up he got in the car and thought, “guess I’m going to a party with Ro. Hope this will finally get Patton off my back.”


	2. Chapter 2

Logan leans against the wall, red solo cup in hand, wishing he could be anywhere else. Even back at college, studying frantically before finals, would be better than this.

He sighs and takes a sip of his beer which he almost spits out when he heard an all-too-familiar voice say, “well, if it isn’t everyone’s favorite nerd. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Roman. I didn’t think you were back in town,” he replies, trying not to show how surprising it is to hear his voice for the first time in years. And at a party, of all places!

Roman smiles and says, “and I didn’t think you were, so this is a very pleasant surprise!” His voice lowers as he leans closer to Logan.

Logan takes a side step away from Roman and retorts, “I wish I could say the same.” The words came just as easily as they had when they were in high school.

Roman’s face breaks into a grin. “How dare you imply that my company is anything less than delightful!” he replies dramatically, feigning annoyance in a way that was very over the top and very much Roman.

“Oh, so I can’t imply the truth anymore?” Logan asks, returning that amazing smile that always seemed to disarm him.

There’s a sad sort of fondness in Roman’s eyes. “God, I missed you,” he practically sighs, his smile becoming nostalgic and melancholy.

For a second Logan’s heart stutters, before he teases, “sadly, I missed you too,” trying to lighten the mood.

“Really? You were the one who stopped returning my calls.” There’s no maliciousness in his tone, just a gently teasing lilt, attempting to hide the fact he’s hurt.

Logan doesn’t hear the hurt, so instead of trying to comfort Roman, he says, “I got busy. Not everyone spends their freshman year partying and hooking up with strangers”

Roman blushes and smiles sheepishly. “So Patton told you about that?” he asks.

Logan chuckles at Roman’s face and answers, “Yes, his favorite topics of conversation seems to be you, and his boyfriend.”

“Is he still dating Virgil?” Roman asks, changing the topic and trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Yeah. I’m a little surprised, to be honest. Statistically, their relationship shouldn’t have lasted, especially considering they both went to different colleges,” Logan casually remarks, not really thinking about what he’s he saying and who he’s saying it to.

“Their colleges aren’t that far apart,” Roman says, giving Logan a look.

Logan replies, “I know, but still it doesn’t make statistical sense,” not realizing the point Roman was trying to make.

“You do know you can’t predict relationships with statistics?” Roman asks, his voice full of disbelief.

“I know that it’s not full proof, but it’s a good way to get a general idea of what the ending will be,” Logan responds, still not getting it.

“Lo.” His nickname from Roman’s lips sends a shiver down his spine. “Relationships are about love, and love can’t be simplified into statistics”

Logan replies, “Actually, it can be. Love is simply a chemical reaction that occurs under certain conditions, like familiarity and continued kindness.” He does his best to pretend like his face isn’t on fire as he speaks.

“I think this is why you never had a girlfriend in high school,” Roman jokes when he realizes Logan’s blushing, trying to diffuse the situation before it became one.

Time stops for what may have been a second or an eternity as Logan realizes Roman didn’t know. “That might be it but I chalk it up to the fact I’m gay,” he responds, his tone casual — even though coming out was always scary.

A moment of stunned silence and then Roman asks, “really?”

“Yes, I have romantic and sexual feelings towards men,” Logan deadpans, somehow, even though it feels like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

Roman exclaims, “this is great!” There was a giant grin on his face.

Logan blinks a couple of times. “What?”

“Me, you, Patton, and Virgil could have called our group the gay club in high school! I can get why you didn’t come out, though,” Roman answers gleefully.

Logan rolls his eyes before responding, “Roman, I was out to the entire school and my parents You were just a moron who just couldn’t see how utterly gay I really am.”

“Wait, so you were out to everyone but me? Why didn’t you tell me?” Roman asks, a bit hurt.

“I tried, but you were too deep in whatever boy drama you were having that week to notice.” Logan doesn’t bother to even try to put it lightly.

Roman suddenly felt guilty. “I’m sorry. I-I should have paid more attention to you,” he replied; his voice not exactly soft, but more like the voice of someone realizing years later that they were wrong the entire time.

“It’s in the past now. Besides, there were other things stopping me from telling you,” Logan said gently, in an awkward attempt to comfort him.

Roman perked up a bit, “like what?” he asked.

Logan smiled at Roman. “I suppose I just hated the idea that you would try to set me up on dates with your friends. Although, Patton did actually do that,” he answered, hoping that would lighten things up.

Roman teased, “what, you didn’t trust my taste in men?” and Logan breathed a sigh of relief. Roman was already back to his normal self.

“I think the only thing I trust your taste in is clothes,” Logan joked, taking a sip of his drink.

“Thank you! Don’t I look amazing all the time?” Roman replied confidently, standing a bit taller.

Logan laughed and not for the first time realized how much he’d missed Roman. “Hold on, don’t get too big of a head,” he teased, brushing some hair out of his face.

Roman said, “I won’t. Though, you don’t dress too badly either.” He gazed fondly at Logan.

“Could that even be considered a compliment?’ Logan asked with a slight blush on his face.

Roman gave Logan a once over before answering, "Take it as one, ‘cause I have enjoyed some outfits you’ve worn. Especially what you wore to that party after our senior prom! That NASA shirt looked great on you and with those skinny jeans? Perfection.”

Logan’s heart stopped. “Shit, if he remembers that, what else does he remember from that night?” he thought, taking a step away from Roman. “I-I have to go.” he stutters, terrified that Roman remembers more than he ever let on.

“Wait, what? Why? I haven’t seen or even talked to you years. Can’t you stay a bit longer?” Roman asked, shocked at Logan’s sudden change in demeanor.

Logan shook his head and turned away from him. “No, I’m sorry, Ro. I just have to.” He answered, too upset to even realize he accidentally used Roman’s nickname.

“Please at least give me your number, so I can talk to you again! I missed you,” Roman begged, reaching out for Logan, but not grabbing him.

Logan replied, “ask Patton for it then. I have to go.“ He ran out of the party.

"Ok, bye, I’ll talk to you later I guess,” Roman said to himself, alone and confused.

Once Logan gets to his car, he quickly texts Patton. “When Roman asks for my number, please give him the wrong one.”

“Are you ok?” Patton texted back immediately.

Logan replied, “I will be.” as he felt tears build up in his eyes.

Patton asked,“where are you?” and Logan knew at that moment that if Patton came here it would cause an even bigger scene.

With that knowledge, Logan answered, “I’m about to drive home from the party you made me go to,” hoping Patton wouldn’t come if he knew Logan was leaving.

“I’ll meet you at your place and then we’ll talk and eat cookies and make you feel better,” Patton responded. Logan sighed with relief.

“Don’t you have a date with Virgil? I wouldn’t want to ruin that.” Logan suddenly remembered the reason Patton didn’t come with him was that parties were one of the worse things for Virgil’s anxiety.

Patton texted back, “I got called in, so we had to cancel anyway. Besides helping you would, is, and will be more important, always.”

“Thank you.”

After sending that, he finally let the tears fall from his eyes. He spends a few minutes crying, and when he’s done, he leaves so quickly that he didn’t notice that Roman had been watching him.


	3. Chapter 3

He was happy. How could he not be? It was his graduation day! But still, there was a nagging feeling that something was off. When Roman went up to give his Salutatorian speech it hit him: he hadn’t talked to Logan in a few days and he missed him.

After the ceremony, he was looking for Logan when Virgil came up to him. “Hey”

“’Sup, how are you?” Roman asked, hoping he could ask Virgil about Logan.

Virgil answered, giddily, “I’m good! Like, really good!” He was somewhat bouncing up and down, and Roman didn’t know if it was from joy or nervous energy.

Roman replied, “that’s surprising, I would have thought something like this would have you hiding in the bathroom.” He was only somewhat joking, but mostly just curious.

Virgil scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, well… Pat was really happy when I said I would try to, you know, act like a normal person.” He wasn’t making eye contact with Roman.

“Being normal is overrated!” Roman responded out of habit in a familiar attempt to make Virgil feel better about himself.

Virgil shrugged and mumbled, “well, it seems like it would be nice”

“You okay? Normally by this point in the conversation, you would be insulting the hell out of me” Roman asked, worried.

Virgil glanced around, looking for someone. “Some things happened at prom. And now…” he pauses. “I’m a bit more nervous than usual.” His voice was as quiet as it could be while still being heard.

“What happened?” Roman asked, mostly out of concern for his friend, but also because he was a bit of a slut for gossip.

Virgil started bouncing up and down a bit more, looking like he would rather be telling this story anywhere else. “So you know about my crush on Pat?” he asked.

“Yeah, you’re less than subtle about that,” Roman teased, unable to help himself from a good-natured joke.

Virgil rubs his nose and bites the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, well, um… at prom, I was freaking out in the bathroom. It wasn’t like a full-blown panic attack, but still bad, you know? Uh, anyway, uh, one thing lead to another and we might have made out in the bathroom…” he replied, and once again glanced around to make sure no one heard him.

“Good for you! Get some!” Roman said, laughing, not really understanding why this was a problem. He hooked up with a guy on prom night and it was great!

“Roman, this is not funny!” Virgil hissed as he gave Roman a glare that would kill most people on the spot.

Roman chuckled a bit more before replying, “I’m not laughing, I’m being encouraging!”

Virgil sighed and rolled his eyes. “I need you to be helpful,” he said, deciding to ignore Roman’s laughter.

“Virge, I don’t see a problem!” Roman replied.

“We kissed and it was great, but what does it mean?” Virgil asked, running his hand through his hair in a way that reminded Roman of Logan.

“Well, how much did you guys kiss?” Roman asked, taking a quick glance around to see if any of the others were nearby.

“A lot, I guess,” Virgil answered, right when Roman saw Patton nearby, clearly looking for someone.

Roman rolled his eyes, impressed by how dumb Virgil could be sometimes.“Then he clearly likes to kiss you!” he replied.

“I know that! But does he just like to kiss me or does he like me as a person too?” Virgil asked quickly, his hands shaking a bit as he glanced around again, not noticing Patton.

Roman responded, “I mean, it’s Pat. He probably likes you as a person, too.”

Virgil seemed a bit calmer at that. “But how can you be sure?” he still asked.

“Ask him,” Roman said, a plan formulating in his head; and even though it’s a bit mean, it’s also a pretty good idea if he did say so himself.

“No, no, no, that is a bad idea! I can’t ask him!” Virgil said, his face paling at the thought.

Roman, being the great friend that he was, grinned mischievously and yelled, “but I can. Hey Pat, can you come over here??”

Patton appeared almost out of nowhere, a pleasant smile on his face. “Hiya! How are you guys?” he asked.

Roman changed his shit eating grin into a nicer smile, though there was still a glint of mischief in his eyes “Great! I was wondering something and I think you could help with it!” he said, ignoring all the signs Virgil was throwing out.

“Oooh, what?” Patton asked, clearly glad to have the chance to be helpful.

“Do you like Virge for his body or his personality?” Roman asks bluntly, not bothering to think of the possible consequences of his actions.

Patton blushed a deep red before mumbling “his personality…” He was looking anywhere but Virgil, clearly embarrassed and a bit nervous.

“Wait, really?” Virgil asked, too shocked to be embarrassed

Patton stared shyly at the ground and answered, "well, yeah. I hope you didn’t think I was only interested in kissing you because I’m interested in a whole lot more.“ When he finished, he looked up at Virgil and gave him a shy smile.

Virgil returned the smile, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, um, uh… I didn’t really… uh… know what to think…” He mumbled, and although he looked very uncomfortable, anyone would be able to tell he was also very happy.

Roman’s work was done. He took his leave and went to look for Logan.

“Hello! Feels like I haven’t seen you in years,” he said when he finally managed to find him.

“Sorry, I have to go,” Logan said almost immediately, not even sparing Roman a glance before he started to walk away.

Roman lightly grabbed his wrist to keep him there for a few more moments. “What, really? Come on, let’s hang out a bit!” he replied, a small pout on his face.

Logan slipped his wrist out of Roman grip as he responded, "I have things to do.“ His voice wasn’t exactly cold, but definitely not warm at all.

"Like what? High school’s over, I know you don’t have work today, and college doesn’t start for a few more months,” Roman pointed out, adding an upset edge to his voice.

Logan glares at Roman. “Hanging out with friends,” he answered, and this time his voice was definitely cold.

The glare made Roman wilt a little, but he held his ground. “Pat and Virge are probably making out by now, so I’m your only other option in the friends’ department right now.”

For a second Logan entertained the idea of strangling Roman, but then decided not to because attempted murder did not look good on resumes. “What do you mean by that?” he asked, making sure he sounded mad and not just upset.

“Nothing. I’m sorry, just forget about it,” Roman said, backtracking and trying to salvage the conversation.

Logan just glared at Roman again. “No, I won’t forget about it. You honestly think I only have three friends?” he responded, his voice full of venom.

Roman put his hands up and tried to apologize. “Look, that’s not what I meant —”

Logan interrupted him swiftly. “What did you mean, then? Because it sounded to me like you think I’m the type of person who would be so fucking bad at being social that I would only have three friends. Well, guess what, I do have other friends. Maybe not as many as you, Mr. Popular, but they exist.” He was not having any of Roman’s bullshit today.

“Why are you so upset about this?” Roman asked, trying to pretend he did nothing wrong.

“I-I have to go. Goodbye.” Logan said as he left, his voice frigid, refusing to even look back at Roman.

When Logan was gone, Roman put his head in his hands, wondering how things could have gone so wrong so fast.“Well, fuck you too, I guess,” he whispered to himself, before going to look for someone or something to take his mind off of what had just happened.


	4. Chapter 4

After watching Logan cry and then leave, Roman went back inside to grab his coat and leave, too. The party didn’t feel fun anymore; and although he didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t just worried about Logan. He wants to actively seek Logan out to comfort him, and those feelings mean that he’s confused and definitely not in the mood for a party.

Roman felt a hand on his shoulder and heard a low voice whisper, “hey, Roro, long time no see.”The voice is low and sickeningly sweet.

Roman turns around and comes face to face with one of his old fuck buddies, though the man in question would probably prefer the word boyfriend. "Sorry, I was actually just leaving,” he says awkwardly, never one for letting people down even if it was easy.

The guy pouts and whines. “Come on, stay a bit longer, play with me,” he pleads, the invitation clear in his voice, and for a brief moment Roman is tempted to accept it.

Roman shakes his head — as if trying to get rid of the high schooler within that was always down for a random hookup. “I don’t have the time right now,” he replies, trying to sound firm but instead seeming a bit indecisive. If Roman could remember his name, he would use it knowing that would add more impact.

“Will you have the time later?” the guy asks, leaning closer to Roman, light catching on his almost yellow eyes and accenting the smugness and lies that characterized him.

Roman gulps, nervous about how he’ll react to rejection. “I don’t know yet,” he mumbled, not wanting to cause a stir or to hurt the other’s feelings.

He realizes he’s being rejected, and his entire demeanor changes. “Fine. But next time you’re in town maybe take a second to stop chasing daydreams and hang out with real people,” he hisses as he glares daggers — and for a moment, Roman was actually afraid.

Roman gathers his courage and, not for the first time, pretends that he isn’t afraid. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, his voice closer to an animal snarl than anything a human should ever produce.

The guy doesn’t even flinch as he retorted. “Ask someone you actually want to spend time with.” He takes a step towards Roman, and instead of being flirty and fun, it’s a movement filled with danger. It sets off warning signals in Roman’s head.

Roman ignores those signals and steps towards the guy. He has something to prove; he just doesn’t know what. “Don’t be a dick, just ‘cause I actually have a life,” he growls, ready to fight if it comes to that.

The man just smiles a horrible smile filled with cruelty and Roman wonders why he’d ever thought of sleeping with this man. “A life, if I remember right, based on trying to forget something you refuse to admit to yourself while still clinging on to memories of it,” he says, his voice dangerously pleasant.

Roman takes a step back, not realizing he did it until the douche he was talking to smirks like he’s already won. “If you have something to say, just come out and say it, stop being vague,” Roman says, his voice angrier than before — though not the guy, but at himself, for allowing himself to seem weak and scared.

The guy rolled his eyes and that smile just grew. “Sorry, darling, I have to go. Toodles,” he says dismissively, making Roman feel so very small and unimportant.

Roman spends a few minutes getting ahold of himself before sighing. When he’s walking home, he’s so distracted that he actually runs into Virgil. “Hey, what are you up to?” he asks when he realizes who he ran into.

Virgil looks shocked at seeing him and rubs the back of his neck, a nervous habit he’s had since Roman first met him, Freshman year. “Oh, Roman, hi. I was just getting some food for me, Pat, and Logan” Virgil answers, lifting the bag he was carrying a bit to drive the point home.

Roman stops dead. “Wait, did you say… Logan?” he asks, his heart pounding at the sound of Logan’s name.

Virgil bites the inside of his mouth, debating if he should say anything. “…yeah, he’s with Pat right now. Why?” he answers, slowly and carefully, hoping this isn’t a mistake.

Roman runs his hand through his hair., “Well, he kind of ran away from me like an hour ago, so I assumed he went home,” he says, clearly worried.

Virgil gives Roman a soft smile. “Nah, he seemed upset so Pat made him come over,” he says, feeling odd to be the one trying to ease the other’s worries.

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Roman asks, a little bit surprised that Virgil isn’t worriedly rushing home.

Virgil shook his head and explained, “not really, they’re friends. Besides, I know for a fact Pat would never cheat on me and that Logan won’t make a move on him,” he says, his voice stronger than Roman had ever heard it, and Roman was suddenly hit by the realization that high school was over and that they’ve changed since then.

“How? Sorry, I don’t want to make it sound like Patton’s cheating, it’s just I thought you would be more nervous about that,” Roman asks, regretting that he implied that Patton would even think about cheating.

Virgil smiled a bit at Roman, though it seemed strained and replied, “uhhh, no? It’s fine. I mean, they’ve been friends for a long time, so if there was anything romantic there it would have already happened, a-and Logan has a huge crush on y — on someone else even if he refuses to admit it.” His fingers start to tap nervously against his thigh when he realizes he may have said too much.

Roman pauses for a minute, processing what Virgil had said. “Wait… Logan has a crush? Really?” he asks, a shit-eating grin on his face.

Virgil knew it was too late to go back, so he just decided to double down, hoping that Logan would never find out about this. “Yeah, though he doesn’t seem to realize it,” he answered, looking at his phone for the time. 11:13 pm.

Roman’s grin grew even larger. “Who does he have a crush on?” he asks, already thinking of ways to tease him, even as he felt a stab of a… foreign feeling.

Virgil shrugs, knowing if he told Roman that Logan would actually kill him; and besides, he didn’t think it was his place to get involved in their business. “Sorry, that’s for him to decide if he wants to tell you,” he answers, scratching the back of his neck again.

Roman pouts a bit before asking, “then why did you tell me he has a crush?”

Virgil smiled awkwardly and his entire body was stiff as he answered, “’cause he’s so freaking obvious about it you would have figured it out sooner or later.” He hoped that one day Roman would figure out who Logan had a crush on and this awkward beating around the bush would finally come to an end after all these years.

Roman sighed. “Fair enough, I guess,” he said as he put his hands in his pockets, wondering where to take the conversation from here.

Virgil senses the awkwardness. “Hey, do you want to come over, hang out like we did in high school?” he asks, knowing that Patton would be glad to see Roman again. And besides, Virgil missed him… although he would never admit it and would probably punch you if you even suggested it.

“I don’t think Logan would want me to come over,” Roman replies, a sad smile on his face.

Virgil gives Roman a look. "Logan’s not asking, idiot. I’m asking,” he says firmly, trying to get Roman to understand that he was missed and wanted.

“Yeah, but I think I was the one who made him upset,” Roman says shyly, sounding a little bit guilty.

“Come over tomorrow, then,” Virgil insists, not wanting to go years without seeing Roman in person again.

Roman sighs and gives in. “Okay… I’ll try, but I’ll need your number,” He says, sounding a bit tired.

Virgil looks surprised that it was that easy. “Oh yeah, give me your phone and I’ll put it in,” he replies with a smile on his face.

Roman hands over his phone. “Oh, hey, could you also put in Logan’s? He told me to ask Patton, but while you’re here I might as well ask you.”

Virgil is a bit suspicious but decides that if Logan told him to ask Patton for the number, it was fine for him to give it to Roman. “Uh, yeah, no problem,” he mumbles.

“Thanks, dude! And… we should hang out one on one sometime too,” Roman replies, smiling at him.

Virgil rolls his eyes and jokes, “oh yeah, of course. You’re in my top 5 friends, after all,”

Roman snorted. “Wow, not even top two?” he gasped, in his usual over-dramatic way.

“My cat beats you out,” Virgil replies, seeming at ease.

Roman smiles and checks the time. “Well I’ve got to go, see you tomorrow maybe,” he says when he realizes how late it is.

“You mean you’ll definitely see me tomorrow, right?” he jokes. “But yeah… I should get going too, don’t want the food to get cold,” Virgil replies, and the two part ways.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a normal day, honestly; Logan wouldn’t even remember it except for the fact that a new kid came.

“Everyone, we have a new classmate, Roman Prince. Roman, you can take the empty seat in the back,” the teacher said, pulling his attention out of his book and onto the new kid, Roman. For someone in the midst of puberty, he was handsome with tanned skin, warm brown eyes, and an easygoing smile that could make people swoon.

Roman slid into the seat next to Logan, “Hey, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Roman! Though you already know that,” he said, his voice unexpectedly confident, considering this was the first time they’ve ever laid eyes on each other.

Logan smiled his usual too-tight smile and replied. “Logan. It is a pleasure to meet you, as well,” he said, turning towards the front of the room where the teacher had started the day’s lesson.

Roman leaned over to Logan and whispered, “so what’s this class like?” and at that moment Logan’s fate was sealed.

Logan turned to look at Roman and answered, “Fairly easy if you do the work. The teacher is really nice, too.” He kept an eye out to see if the teacher had noticed their chit-chat.

Roman rolled his eyes and sighed, “no, dude, give me the juicy gossip. Who’s dating who and the most recent fights, that kind of stuff!”

“This is a class full of honor students. We spend most of our time doing homework and trying not to cry,” Logan replied while glancing up at the board and taking some notes.

Roman grinned. “You know what? I like you. When do you have lunch?” he asked, leaning even closer to Logan.

Before Logan could answer, the teacher reprimanded them. “This is not the time for socializing, and this information will be on the test.” Both boys moved away from each other, not talking for the rest of the class period.

At the end of class, Roman waited for Logan, “so? When do you have lunch?”

“I have 5A lunch and 5B study hall. Why?” Logan answered, not really paying attention, his mind already thinking about how to schedule his work for the day.

Roman smiled. “Well, lucky you! I also have 5A lunch. Save me a seat, ok?” he said, before running off to whatever class he had next.

When lunch rolled around, Logan was sitting by himself waiting for Patton and Virgil to get to his table when in his peripheral vision he saw someone slide into one of the seats next to him.

“I’m back! Did you miss me? Wait, don’t answer that, I know you did,” Roman said, his voice jovial.

Logan looked up from his work. “Hello, Roman. How were your classes?”

Roman sighed. “They were boring. You know what I think would be more interesting? Your friends. Where are they?” he asked as he cracked his knuckles.

“They should be here any min-” Logan began, but was interrupted.

“LOLO!” Patton screamed, running across the lunch room with Virgil in tow.

“There they are,” Logan said, trying to seem annoyed, but there was clear affection in his eyes.

“Ooooh, Lo, who’s this?” Patton asked as he threw himself into Logan.

Logan introduced them as he removed Patton’s arms from him. “Patton, this is Roman Prince. Roman, these are my friends, Patton Pragma and Virgil Blair”

“Hello,” Roman said, with a friendly smile.

Patton bounced excitedly and replied.“Hiya!”

Virgil mumbled, “sup?” raising one hand awkwardly.

“How are you two?” Logan asked, not allowing the conversation to become awkward.

“I’m doing great! Did I tell you I got to pet a dog on the way to school?!” Patton answered, practically vibrating.

Logan calmly replied, “no, you did not.” His voice was a stark contrast to Patton’s excitement.

“He was such a good boy,” Patton said happily before something else caught his interest.

Logan hummed in agreement. “Hmm, that’s nice. Virgil, how has your day been?”

Virgil shrugged and refused to make eye contact. “Uhhh. Fine I guess? Nothing bad really happened, so I mean that’s nice,” he muttered, playing with his food.

Patton cut in. “OOH! Virge, show them what you made in Art. It’s really good!”

“It’s not really that good. I messed up in a lot of places and-” Virgil denied as he blushed bright red.

Logan interjected, “Virgil, I would love to see your work if you are fine with showing it.” His voice was firm, but also patient.

Virgil quickly glanced at Roman. “Maybe later”

“That’s perfectly okay,” Logan replied, giving Virgil a soft smile.

Patton asked, “Sooo Roman, how did ya meet Lo?”

“We have the same English class,” Roman replied, wondering if Patton was actually paying attention to anything that was happening around him.

Patton smiled and remarked, “you must be really smart to be in Honors English!” He didn’t notice Roman’s discomfort.

“Kind of… English is just my strong suit,” Roman responded, feeling a bit more at ease, but still not wanting to brag too much about himself just yet.

Patton looked up and gave Roman his full attention. “Well it’s still pretty cool that you’re in an honors class!” he said kindly.

“Patton, that reminds me. I’m busy Friday, can we reschedule for tonight? I know it is on short notice, and I am sorry,” Logan said, and Roman got the feeling he was being vague on purpose.

“It’s fine! I can do tonight. Around 5 good for you?” Patton replied, already back at his tinkering.

“It’s perfect, thanks,” Logan answered, shuffling some of his papers.

While that was going on, Virgil was eyeing Roman suspiciously. “So… what are your intentions toward Logan?”

“What?” Roman asked as he choked on his lemonade.

Logan sighed. “Virgil, two things. One, please phrase that in a better way, and two, I can determine who will not hurt me just fine by myself. There is no need to worry about me,” he finished, not even bothering to look at Virgil.

“Ok.” He turned back to Roman. “Are you going to hurt my friends?” Virgil asked with a subtle glare.

“I have no intentions of hurting anyone!” Roman answered, trying to look as believable as possible because he really did mean it.

Virgil stared at him for a few more minutes before saying, “I believe you, Princey,” and going back to his work.

“Princey?” Roman asked, sounding offended, but secretly loving the nickname and that he was accepted into the group so quickly.

Virgil smirked and responded, “yeah, do you have a problem with it?” A challenge was very clear in his voice, though no one seemed sure what accepting the challenge meant, especially not Virgil and Roman.

“Not at all, Emo Nightmare,” Roman said as he smirked right back, not wanting to back down.

Virgil turned to Patton. “I like him,” he said, and Logan felt a stab of pride for Roman that he got Virgil to actually like him — and during their first meeting, at that!

“Who do you have for study hall?” Logan asked, changing the subject and trying to ignore the hope that he would have the same study hall as Roman. It was just that something about him drew Logan in like a moth to the flame, although Logan didn’t realize that yet.

“Mr. Klotz? Is that how you say it?” Roman answered, butchering the pronunciation.

Patton yelled, “Yay! You have study hall with me. Oh, and just call him Mr. K.”

Roman replied, “I’ll follow you there then.” with a relieved smile.

“You mean, you’ll follow Logan,” Virgil jokes.

Patton pouted. “Hey! I’m getting better. I almost know my way” he said, as he lightly hit Virgil’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Roman asked, glancing around at the others.

“Patton has a terrible sense of direction, so either Virgil or I walk him to class,” Logan replied, starting to pack up his stuff.

“Okay, well once I get the lay of the land, add me in there as well,” he said, wanting so very badly to be more a part of this group of friends.

“You sure?” Patton asked, clearly surprised.

With a smile, Roman answered. “I need to get to know you guys better somehow”

“Fair enough.” And with that, the bell rang, dismissing them.

After Logan had dropped Roman and Patton off at their classes, he realized just how glad he was that his friends had taken a liking to Roman as well.


	6. Chapter 6

“Virgil did what?” Logan asks, his voice full of fear.

“Invited Roman to hang out with us,” Patton answers, looking at the snacks he was preparing instead of Logan.

Logan takes a breath, processing the information, before asking, “why?”

Patton winces a little at the hurt tone in Logan’s voice. “Because he’s our friend,” he responds, still not looking at Logan.

“But you know what happened last time I was with Roman!” Logan says, his voice small as he remembers exactly what had happened and how much it hurt afterward.

“Which was years ago, Logan! He doesn’t remember it, anyway,” Patton replies, biting his lip, but refusing to continue feeling guilty for this.

Logan runs his hand through his hair and starts, “yeah, but—”

“No buts! You need to forget about what happened,” Patton interrupts in his dad voice, turning towards Logan.

Logan quickly glances at the ground, knowing what the dad voice meant. "Alright, I’ll try,“ he mumbles, not meeting Patton’s eyes.

"Good, because Roman should be here any minute,” Patton replies with a reassuring smile.

Logan nods. “Well, I smell like last night’s party, so I’ll be in the shower when he arrives,” he says quickly before bolting upstairs.

“Ok, but be quick about it!” Patton yells after him.

“No buts!” Logan calls back, already in the bathroom.

Patton sighs, but he’s clearly amused as he went to living room to wait for Virgil and Roman to arrive.

The moment Roman walks into the house, he scans for him., “Where’s Logan?” he asks.

Logan says, “I’m here,” as he walks down the stairs with a tower over his shoulder and damp hair.

Roman stares at him, his eyes trailing over every inch of Logan. “Sorry about… last night,” He says once he gets ahold of his thoughts.

Logan forced himself to look Roman in the eyes. "I’m the one who should be apologizing. I shouldn’t have run out on you like that,” he said, his voice steady even though on the inside he felt as though he was breaking apart.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I just hope you’re ok,” Roman replies, smiling gently at Logan and relaxing into his chair.

Logan smiled back. “I am, thank you,” he says as he walks over and sits in the chair next to Roman.

Roman blushes a little like he always does when Logan focuses that lovely smile at him. “It’s no problem,” he said, though one could make the argument that it was a mumble.

Patton claps his hands, getting their attention. “Well, with that out of the way, let’s get back to what we were talking about,” he says happily.

Logan covers his face and sighs. “Patton, I swear, if you roped Roman into the thumb conversation…” he groans, his voice partially muffled by his hands.

“I just want to know if they’re fingers or not!” Patton replies, trying to pout, but his laughter ruined it.

Logan chuckles into his hands a bit before reigning himself in. “We’ve been over this, they’re not,” he responds, lifting his head out of his hands.

“Then why are they on your hand?” Patton asks, wiggling his fingers for emphasis.

Logan answered, “because they’re digits.” He wiggles his fingers right back at Patton.

Patton turned to Roman and pouted. “Roman! Tell him he’s wrong!” he says, giving Roman puppy dog eyes.

Roman laughed, turned to Logan. “Logan. you’re wrong,” he says in the most serious voice he can manage.

“I thought you would be on my side!” Logan replies, clutching his hand to his chest and attempting to sound offended.

Roman smiles gently at Logan and says, “sorry darling, Patton’s pout just pulls at my heartstrings more.” He feels a bit proud when he sees a blush appear on Logan’s face.

Logan tried to ignore the heat that ran through him when Roman called him darling. “Virgil, there you are. Back me up, thumbs aren’t fingers, right?” he yells towards the kitchen where Virgil is making himself a cup of coffee.

“Of course not, they’re digits” Virgil replies as he walks into to the living room.

Patton gasps dramatically. “Betrayed, by the love of my life, how will I go on?”

“I’m sorry Pat, the child isn’t yours. I’ve been cheating on you with Logan.” Virgil deadpans as he takes a sip of his coffee.

“I knew it! I want a divorce!” Patton exclaims, his voice overly high-pitched.

Virgil hides his chuckle in his hand and retorts, “Good, now I can finally marry Logan!”

Logan rolled his eyes at being pulled into it. “Virgil, I’m sorry, I have no intention of marrying you” he replies in an exaggerated tone.

Virgil gasps and brings his hand up to his forehead. “What? No, I thought we were meant to be! Why?” he asked, trying to sound heartbroken.

“Because his heart belongs to me!” Roman yells, grabbing on to Logan.

Virgil gasps and cries out. “No, not Roman, my own brother!”

Logan nods solemnly. “Yes, I’m sorry Virgil, but Roman is my true love and I can’t let you have him,” he replied, not looking Virgil in the eyes.

“Virge, come back to me, we can fix this!” Patton cries, reaching out and pulling Virgil onto his lap.

Virgil buries his head in Patton’s shoulder. “No, I can’t, I don’t deserve you,” he mumbles in mock-sadness.

“That doesn’t matter! What matters is that I love you,” Patton replies, running his fingers through Virgil’s hair.

Virgil lifts his head up a bit, smiles happily, and says, “I love you too.”

“Quick question, what the actual fuck is wrong with us?” Logan asks, assuming whatever the fuck they were doing was over.

Roman hits Logan’s shoulder playfully. “Logan! Don’t break character. Now pretend to be madly in love with me so we can continue the scene!”

Logan rolls his eyes and hits Roman back. “You wish I would even pretend to be madly in love with you,” he said, trying not to give away the storm of emotions that was raging inside of him.

Roman just smiles and leans towards Logan. “Wow, the cat has claws today. Meow,” he says, pitching his voice down an octave lower.

“Stop flirting, you two, this is a group day,” Virgil yells as he throws a pillow at them.

“Then you have to get off of Patton’s lap,” Roman retorts, and Logan noticed he didn’t deny that they were flirting.

“I prefer to get off on Patton’s lap,” Virgil replies with a shit-eating grin that could also be classified as a smirk.

Logan groans “Virgil no! We do not need to hear about your adventures in sex.” he says, his voice implying that they’ve had this conversation before.

Virgil smiles wickedly and replies, “then you have to stop telling me about yours”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME!” Logan yells before hiding his face in the pillow Virgil threw at him as everyone else laughs.

A few hours later after lots of talking and laughter, Roman groans. “Ugh, sorry guys, but I got to go,” he said as he checked the time.

“Me too, my professor assigned work over the break,” Logan says, suddenly realizing he stayed way too long and would have to stay up pretty late to get back on track.

“Sucks to be you,” Roman replies as he started getting his stuff ready.

Logan muttered, “yeah it does,” without really thinking about it.

“Hey Logan, I gave Roman a ride here. Could you give him one back?” Virgil asks, looking up from his phone and cuddling deeper into Patton.

Logan nods. “Yeah sure,” he says, grabbing his things and putting on his coat.

“Thanks, dude,” Virgil says as they walk out the door.

Logan yells back, “no problem.”

“So… how’s college been going for you?” Logan asks after a couple of minutes of awkward silence.

“I love it and hate it at the same time,” Roman answers, looking up from his phone.

Logan smiled and replied, “oh, the duality of man.”

“You are still a nerd, can’t say I’m surprised,” Roman says, flashing Logan an award-winning smile.

Logan rolled his eyes. “And you’re less boisterous, I can say I’m surprised,” he retorted, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

Roman shrugs and glances out the window. “Life happens… and you realize things are different than what you thought they were,” he responds, his voice muted, softer than normal.

“If I weren’t driving, I’d drink to that,” Logan says in an awkward attempt to lighten the mood.

“If I hadn’t given up drinking I would drink to that,” Roman replies, somewhat sadly.

“You gave up drinking?” Logan asks, trying to sound like he isn’t shocked.

Roman shrugs, trying to pretend like it was no big deal. “Yeah, woke up one too many mornings, not knowing where I was or how I got there,” he says, refusing to meet Logan’s eyes.

“Sounds scary,” Logan replies awkwardly, not sure how to react.

“Nah, the scariest part was the STI test, because God knows who I slept with,” Roman says, cracking a smile that Logan knew without a shadow of doubt was fake.

Logan looks at him for what is probably longer than safe. “Well, at least things have changed, hopefully for the better.”

Roman meet Logan’s eyes. “Yeah, they have,” he mumbles, before glancing away.

They drove the rest of the way in silence, and when they got to Roman’s house he lingered in the car., “Thanks for the ride,” he says softly.

“It was no problem.” Logan pauses for a second. "…call me later"

Roman smiles. “Yeah, I will,” he replies as he leaves the car and runs into his house.

As Logan drove away, he couldn’t stop thinking about how Roman had changed, and as he fell asleep he realized that he may not be in love with this version of Roman, but he was willing to fall.


	7. Chapter 7

He was supposed to be having the time of his life, living it up, partying, and doing some less than legal things — but instead, he felt like crying and he didn’t know why.

He sat up and tried to figure out where he was. The only thing he remembered about last night was getting shit-faced at the after-party, but this didn’t seem to be the same place. It… honestly looked like Logan’s room… but that was unlikely considering Logan would never sleep with him and the only reason he would be in someone else’s bed was… sex.

He grabbed his clothes that were strewn about the room, and the more he looked the more he couldn’t deny that he was in Logan’s room. He got dressed and then slunk down the stairs.

“Morning, Roman!” Mrs. Franklin greeted in her normal peppy voice.

Roman smiled at her as best as he could. “Oh, good morning, Logan’s mom,” he replied, too hungover to muster up his usual politeness.

“Logan’s in the basement if you want to talk to him,” she said, gesturing towards the basement door.

“Uh, thanks,” Roman mumbled as he realized there was no way he could leave now.

She replies, “no problem, dear,” as she takes a sip of her coffee.

Roman carefully walks downstairs, remembering how afraid he was the first time he walked down here. Now, he was just as afraid, but for vastly different reasons.

“Hey, Lo,” he said when he reached the final step.

Logan replied, “hello, Roman,” and looked up from his book.

Roman paused awkwardly, a single question in his mind. “So, odd question, but how did I get here?” he asked.

Logan refused to meet Roman’s eyes as he answered. “You were drunk, so I brought you here.”

“Thanks… and, uh, if I did anything weird last night, I’m sorry,” Roman replied with an uncertain but relieved smile.

Logan raised his eyebrows. “Weird like trying to french kiss my fern or a different type of weird?” he asked, his voice monotone.

Roman responded, “the first — definitely the first type.” He paused, wondering; had he really tried to french a plant?.

“Well, I forgive you. I’m not sure the fern does though,” Logan joked, finally meeting Roman’s eyes. or the first time in a long time, Roman really looked into Logan’s eyes —and what he found there took his breath away.

Roman smiled, ignoring the rush of what he thought was a new feeling. “Well, I’ll make a formal apology later,” he muttered, staring at the ground because he scared to look in Logan’s eyes again.

There was a thick and awkward pause as silence filled the air; both of them trying to figure out what the other was thinking, and in Roman’s case, also trying to figure out the emotions that were churning inside him.

When the silence got unbearable, Logan asked, “do your parents know you’re here?”

Roman cringed. “Shit, let me text them real quick!” he yelled as he pulled out his phone in a rush.

Logan smiled and chuckled a bit. “Oh, and if you want you can stay longer, we could watch that movie?” he offered, sounding a bit nervous.

Roman’s heart stuttered as he smiled back. “I’d like that”

They set up the movie, Beauty and The Beast, and made some popcorn. At first, when they sat down on the couch, they sat as far away from each other as possible, but slowly over the course of the movie they moved closer and closer until there was a small expanse of space between them, that neither of them would dare cross.

“Hey, Pat,” Roman said when he started walking home later that night and called Patton.

On the other side of the phone, Patton yelled. “ROMAN I. PRINCE WHERE ARE YOU?” Roman winced at his loud voice.

“Leaving Logan’s. Sorry for not telling you… and you know my middle name doesn’t start with I, right?” Roman replied, enjoying the summer-like weather.

Roman laughed a little when Patton huffed. “The I stands for I’m gonna kick your butt.”

“Calm down, dad. I’m fine,” Roman responded jokingly.

“Fine.” Patton pouted. “How did you get to Lo’s place anyway?”

Roman answered, “apparently he took me there last night.” His steps faltered as he realized he never really knows how he gets anywhere after a night of drinking.

“Why? He was already home by the time you left prom,” Patton asked, worried about his friend.

Roman rolled his eyes, even though Patton couldn’t see him. “Dude, all I remember is getting Logan to go to a party with me and then getting shit-faced,” he replied with a sigh.

“Oh no,” was all Patton said.

Roman was immediately worried and asked, “what?”

“When you get shit-faced you hit on any living thing in sight…” Patton answered awkwardly.

Roman breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, I know. Apparently, I hit on Logan’s plant last night!” he replied, joking a bit.

“Roman, this is serious!” Patton responded, and Roman was almost certain that he had stomped his foot.

Roman asked, “what? Why? I just got drunk last night, it’s not like I killed someone.” He was still trying to joke a little, though worry was obvious in his tone.

“Roman, you were drunk with Logan, a good-looking guy,” Patton answered, not wanting to have to outright say anything.

Roman was completely sidetracked when he asked, “wait, you think Logan’s good looking?”

Patton sighed. “Yes because he is,” he replied tensely, mildly annoyed with Roman.

“I thought you liked Virge,” Roman replied, believing that Patton was jealous of him.

Patton paused for a few seconds. “I do, I just know who looks good or not, and that’s beside the point. Logan is a living breathing human male.”

Roman was completely over all this beating around the bush. “Pat, just get to it already! I’m hungover and I can’t think.”

“Roman, did you have sex with Logan last night?” Patton asked bluntly, giving Roman what he wanted.

At that moment everything paused for what seemed like an eternity as Roman thought about his past and what it implied about his present. His heart seemed to stop beating and dread filled him. Everyone single one of his thoughts were the same phrase —did I? He wanted the answer to be an immediate no, but if he was going to be honest with himself, he couldn’t be sure what the answer was. And that terrified him.

“No, Logan wouldn’t have allowed it. I was drunk! And besides, he doesn’t like me like that,” Roman answered after a few moments of silence.

Patton worriedly asked, “Roman, are you sure, because-”

“I am sure,” Roman interrupted. “I did not, nor would I ever have sex with Logan,” he finished, afraid of what Patton was going to say, afraid that the answer could be anything but no.

“Ok, I-I have to go… bye,” Patton mumbled, sounding hurt.

Roman was too caught up in himself to notice Patton’s pain, so he just said, “bye.”

As Roman walked home he desperately tried to avoid thinking about what Patton had suggested. It made him feel sick. If it was anyone else, it wouldn’t be so bad, but it was Logan, his most trusted friend. He hopped into the shower, making sure the water was scalding hot, and scrubbed at his skin until the water was frigid, desperately trying forget what Patton had said. He couldn’t forget, and as he fell into an uneasy sleep, the last thing his mind supplied him with was an image of Logan looming over him.

Roman didn’t dream that night, but he did have nightmares.


	8. Chapter 8

There is a pause as both process what Roman had just said. Roman splutters, gasping. "Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!“ he says quickly,in a desperate attempt to get rid of the awkwardness before it begins.

"Didn’t mean it like what?” Logan asks, sounding a bit hurt.

Roman rubs the back of his neck as he answers, “I actually don’t know… it just felt like the right thing to say.”

Logan replies, “it wasn’t,” refusing to look at Roman.

Roman sighs and rubs his hands down his face. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. God, this isn’t going the way I wanted,” he says frustratedly. 

“How did you want it to go?” Logan asks gently, curiosity winning out over his need to run away from this awkward mess.

Roman answers, “I would pick you up from your house, and make you laugh, and we would hang out in the hottest spot in town until the sun sets and we realize we had been talking for hours, just like we used to…” His voice started out weak, but grew louder, more confident, by the end.

“Roman… we can’t go back,” Logan replies, his voice soft, as if speaking too loud would startle Roman.

Roman smiles sadly. “I know, but I-I want to,” he says, looking away.

Logan stops walking and takes Roman’s face in his hands, forcing Roman to look at him. “We can move forward, though,” he says quietly, blushing.

“Really?” Roman asks hopefully, completely ignoring how Logan’s hands on his face set his heart racing.

Logan lets go of Roman’s face, letting his hands just fall to his sides. “Yes. I hate to admit it, but I… I missed you, and I regret not answering your calls.”

“Let’s move forward then!” Roman replies, wishing he was brave enough to grab Logan’s hands.

They walk in silence until they arrive at their destination. “Really, the park?” Logan asks, raising an eyebrow.

Roman shrugs. “What? It’s the hottest spot in town!”

“5 and 95-year-olds hang out here,” Logan retorts, gesturing at the children and the elderly that were hanging around.

“Yes, and?” Roman asks, gesturing for Logan to continue.

Logan answers, “tt’s… not what I expected of you.” He shrugged.

“Well, your expectations are all based on high-school me,” Roman says, guiding Logan to a bench.

Logan sits. “I guess I don’t know you as well as I thought I did,” he replies with a sheepish smile.

“That’s what today is about, getting to know each other again,” Roman replies, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.

“Hopefully,” Logan whispers, thinking that Roman wouldn’t hear him.

Roman shakes his head and says, “no, not hopefully. We will know each other again. Here, let me start! How have your classes been?” he asks, determined to make things work out.

“Exhausting,” Logan answers. “I barely have time for anything besides studying.”

Genuinely curious, Roman asks, “so no friends?”

“Do study partners count?” Logan responds jokingly.

Roman laughs a little and says, “I’ll take that as a no, then.”

Logan retorts, “what about you, Mr. Popular? I’m sure you have oodles of friends.” 

“First of all, you talk like my Grandma. Secondly, between theater and classes, I’m in the same boat as you,” Roman responds, shifting closer to Logan.

“You’re still doing professional make-believe?” Logan asks, surprised that after all these years Roman was still in theater. He was sure that Roman would have given it up after high school.

Roman looks away. “Yeah, I know you don’t like it, but-”

“I would… enjoy seeing one of your performances if you would permit it,” Logan interrupts, feeling horrible when he realizes Roman feels like he has to defend his interests to him.

Roman’s head whips around. “What? Really!?” he exclaims happily.

It’s Logan’s turn to look away. “Yes, it has come to my attention that I did not give your interests the chance they deserved in high school.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it!” Roman replies, resting a hand on Logan’s shoulder in an attempt to ease his guilty.

Logan firmly says, “no, it’s not. I was not the friend I should have been and for that, I apologize.” His tone left no room for argument. 

“You know how you can make it up to me?” Roman asks.

“How?” Logan responds eagerly. 

“Shut up and just enjoy the moment! Stop dwelling on the past,” Roman answers, his face breaking into a grin.

“I’ll… try to,” Logan replies, nodding solemnly.

Roman nudges Logan as he says, “no try, only do”

Logan groans and responds, “you call me the nerd, but you basically just quoted Star Wars at me.”

“Hey! Star Wars is an iconic sci-fi movie — nay, an iconic movie in general! So liking it doesn’t make you a nerd!” Roman argues, faking offense. 

Logan rolls his eyes. “If you say so, Ro.” He notices Roman staring at him and awkwardly asks, “what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever called me Ro before, even in high school,” Roman answers with a dumb smile.

Logan suddenly feels like he’s done something wrong. “Do you not want me to call you Ro?” he asks.

“No!” Roman replied quickly, causing Logan to jump. “God no, please call me Ro if you want to. I mean I call you Lo all the time, so it wouldn’t be fair if you couldn’t call me Ro.”

“OK, then I will continue to call you Ro,” Logan says when his heart calms down a little.

“Good,” Roman says, nodding a little. “So what now?” he asks after a few moments.

Logan shrugs and answers, “Well, I still don’t know a lot about what you’re doing now.”

“Studying and acting. I’m majoring in English because my parents really wanted me to have something to fall back on,” Roman replies, sounding a bit bitter.

Logan asks, “do you enjoy it?”

“English? Yeah, it’s fine,” Roman answers disinterestedly, shrugging.

“I’m assuming you would rather be majoring in theater,” Logan replies, wishing he could help Roman do something he loved.

“You’re assuming right, but my parents are right, the acting world is hard,” Roman says with a sigh.

Logan glances at Roman. “Well, I wish you luck. I’m certain you’ll make it big someday.”

Roman blushes, averting his gaze. “What about you? You’re studying chemical engineering right?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Yes, I am,” Logan answers. “I’m… surprised that you remembered,” he says softly, flashing Roman a smile. 

“Yeah, well, you were always so passionate about it, it was impossible not to listen when you spoke,” Roman replies, running his hands through his hair.

Logan’s face flushed with embarrassment. "That’s — well — I don’t know about that but I… like it,“ he stutters.

"Good,” Roman replies. “So how long are you in town?”

“Another week. I believe, though I will have to double check to make sure. What about you?” Logan answers, his nose scrunched up with thought.

Roman smiles to himself about how cute Logan is. “5 more days.”

“That’s… not a lot of time,” he responds disappointedly.

“We’ll make the most of it!” Roman immediately vows without a second thought.

“We?” Logan echoes, tilting his head a little.

Roman’s pales.. “Oh, um, yeah. I’m sorry, I was just thinking that you would want to spend more time with me. I completely understand if you don’t want to,” he answers in a jumbled rush.

Logan takes a deep breathe before whispering, “I do.” 

“What?” Roman asks, completely shocked.

Logan looks Roman in the eyes as he answers, “I do want to spend more time with you”

Around 10 am, Roman sends Logan a quick text, asking “do you wanna meet up later?”

A few minutes pass before Logan texts back. “Sure, what time and where?”

“My place at 1?” Roman answers immediately.

“I’ll be there,” Logan replies, and in response Roman cheers.

As 1 pm approaches, Roman gets progressively more nervous as he realizes this would be the first time he and Logan had hung out alone together in years. Exactly at 1 pm, Logan knocks on the door.

“Hey, Lo! How have you been?” he asks as he lets Logan in.

Logan steps inside and replies, “I’m fine. How are you?”

“Great, I’m great,” Roman answers quickly, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to get rid of some of his nervous energy.

Logan smiles gently at Roman. “I’m assuming this is where we engage in small talk in an attempt to push past the awkwardness?”

Logan’s smile eases Roman’s worries a bit. “Yes, the weather’s nice isn’t it?” Roman asks jokingly

“And you call me the nerd. That joke was terrible,” Logan says, rolling his eyes.

“Because you are the nerd here” Roman teases as he and Logan sit down in the living room.

Logan makes himself comfortable and retorts, “debatable”

“You’re only further proving my point,” Roman replies with a chuckle.

Logan sighs. “I’ll concede that to you,” he says,his hands moving in a way that says, ‘what can I do?’

“I don’t know what that means,” he admit, embarrassed that even after all these years he still can’t keep up with Logan.

“You win,” Logan replies, not seeming surprised that he had to explain himself.

Roman’s face breaks into a giant grin and he pumps his fist as he yells, “hell yeah!”

Logan rolls his eyes unsubtly and says, “I regret agreeing to this outing.”

The moment Roman hears those words, his heart stops with fear that Logan’s not joking, that something fundamental has shifted between them and that they can never return to how things were before.

“I regret looking at your face,” Roman retorts, but his heart’s not in it.

Logan asks, “are you ok?” as he leans closer to Roman.

Blushing at how close Logan had become, Roman answers, “psssh, yeah I am. Why?”

“You seem more energetic than usual and your retorts are a bit lackluster,” Logan explains, his eyes never leaving Roman’s face.

“I’m happy I get to spend time with you,” Roman replies quickly, a weak attempt to change the conversation. Logan raises an eyebrow.

We just spent time together the other day,“ Logan says, his head cocking to the side.

"But that was with everyone else,” Roman responds sheepishly.

“Patton and Virgil are your friends as well, so wouldn’t you want to spend time with them?” Logan asks, not understanding the situation.

Roman smiles and thinks about how cute a confused Logan is, as he explains, “yeah, but we video chat every week, and I haven’t even heard your voice since graduation. I missed it…”

“I-I’m sorry, I was… preoccupied,” Logan says guiltily, staring at the floor.

Roman says, “I know you’re not telling me the whole story.” He’s not trying to make Logan feel bad; he just wants Logan to know that he could stop lying.

“Ro, I am sorry” Logan mumbles, not daring to lift his eyes from the ground.

Roman replies, “I know you are. I am too.” His smiling turns sad.

Logan’s eyes snap towards Roman. “What? You have nothing to be sorry for!”

“I didn’t try harder,” Roman answers with a shrug.

Logan gets ready to rant. “I —” he starts.

Roman interrupts, “let’s forget about. I don’t want to spend the entire day dwelling on the past.” He does not want to make this into a big thing.

“What do you want to do?” Logan asks, glad to drop the subject.

Roman answers, a bit flirtatiously, “take you out somewhere and catch up.”

"That sounds lovely,” Logan replies, hoping Roman doesn’t notice the flush in his cheeks.

“Well then, let’s catch up as I take you to the hottest spot in town,” Roman says, standing up with a dramatic flourish and getting his things ready.

Logan gets up as well. “And what’s the hottest spot in town?”

“Oh, you’ll see,” Roman replies, trying to seem mysterious as he and Logan leave the house.

Logan jokes, “if I didn’t know you better I would think you’re trying to murder me.” 

“Maybe I am, and this is an elaborate ploy,” Roman retorts with a mischievous grin, leading Logan down the street.

Logan hides a smile behinds his hand. “I’m surprised you know what that means.” 

Roman clutches his chest. “You wound my pride,” he gasps in an overly dramatic manner.

“There’s so much of it, my words couldn’t have hurt it too badly,” Logan replies, glancing at Roman.

“You underestimate how much you mean to me.”


	9. Chapter 9

The entire car ride to the party was silent as Logan nervously cracked his knuckles one by one.

“Could you not?” Roman asked, on edge.

“Sorry,” Logan mumbled as the car stopped outside a familiar house teeming with people. “You know what, I changed my mind, let’s go home,” he said, the moment he entered the house.

“Nope! We’re staying, We’re getting drunk, and we’re gonna have a good time!” Roman laughed, dragging Logan to the living room

“None of that sounds like a good time to me!” Logan argued, but he allowed himself to be dragged regardless.

“A good time to you is doing nerd shit,” Roman scoffed, not letting go of Logan even when they reached the living room.

“And a good time to you is doing professional make-believe and trying to fuck anything that moves!” Logan replied harshly, yanking his arm out of Roman’s grasp.

“Hey! Girls move and I don’t fuck them!” Roman protested, ignoring the sting he feels at Logan’s words.

“You completely missed the point,” Logan sighed in frustration.

And you’re missing the point of high school!“ Roman growled, running his hand through his hair.

"Which is?” Logan asked, sounding like he doesn’t want to know the answer.

“Having fun and living life!” Roman answered, gesturing to the party around them.

Logan made a face. “I am doing that!”

Roman smiled pityingly. “No, you’re not. You’re hiding away in your house and studying! Does that sound like living to you?”

“Well, if I have brain function and a heartbeat, then yes, that is living,” Logan replied, not understanding the point Roman was trying to make.

Roman sighed. “That’s not truly living, that’s just being and not doing.” He jumped up as he shouted, “life is about doing!” startling Logan and several other people around them.

When Roman sat down, Logan shrugged and said, “I suppose… I mean, you can’t really argue what life is about because that’s different for everyone.”

“I’ll take that as a win!” Roman replied triumphantly, flashing Logan a megawatt smile.

“You didn’t win, this is clearly a draw,” Logan spluttered, protesting, not wanting to lose his winning streak.

Roman shook his head as his smile grew even wider. “Nope! You agreed with me!” He laughed, leaning closer to Logan.

“In a questioning manner!” Logan replied, not willing to give up just yet.

Roman smugly said, “still agreement”

Logan sighed and gave up. “I hate you so much,” he muttered with his head in his hands.

“If you say so.” Roman laughed., “Now, what will you have to drink? Beer, rum and coke, vodka?”

“Just coke,” Logan answered, knowing that he couldn’t handle his drinks.

Roman rolled his eyes. “Laaaame. Live a little!”

“One of us has to drive home, and it seems that you plan on being so drunk that you can’t see straight,” Logan snapped.

“I can never see straight,” Roman joked, winking at Logan.

“I swear to God, I will leave you,” Logan said, shoving Roman a little.

“Whatever, stay here while I get you some coke and me some vodka!” Roman said, standing up.

“Vodka?” Logan asked, surprised that Roman wasn’t easing his way into being drunk.

“Gotta start off strong,” Roman answered as he walked into the kitchen.

Logan spent a few minutes awkwardly scrolling through his phone before Roman returned. "Here you go,“ he said, handing Logan his drink.

"Is there anything in this?” Logan asked, staring warily into the contents of the cup.

“Besides coke? No,” Roman answered. “I may want you to drink, but I’m not gonna slip you anything,” he assured, sitting down next to Logan.

“Thank you,” Logan replied, sipping at his coke.

“No problem,” Roman said as he took a big gulp of vodka.

After a few moments of silence, Logan asked, “so, did you enjoy prom?”

Roman nodded and answered, “yeah, although the person who has to bring the drinks got caught.”

“That’s good,” Logan replied, relieved that Roman hadn’t been drunk texting him.

Roman gave Logan a look. “No, it’s not. It ruined my plans!”

“Your plans were to become drunk at a school-sponsored event. If you got caught they might not have let you walk the stage,” Logan pointed out as he returned the look.

“Yeah, but they might not have caught me. I could have had my cake and ate it too!” Roman replied with an overly exaggerated wink.

Logan ran his hand through his hair.“Roman, that is the dumbest thing you’ve said in a long time.”

“You mean the smartest,” Roman retorted, flashing Logan a smile.

“No, I don’t,” Logan said, not seeing the humor that Roman clearly thought was there.

Roman stood. “Well, I’m gonna give you some time to think about it while I get more drinks. You want anything?”

Logan answered, “No, I’m fine.” He was still nursing his coke.

“Alrighty, your loss,” Roman replied, walking away.

Logan spent some time on his phone, mindlessly scrolling as he counts the seconds until Roman returns and he can have someone to talk to — but those seconds turn into minutes, and those minutes turn into an hour.

“I’m back!” Roman yelled sometime later, slurring his words.

“Where were you? I was worried!” Logan asked.

Roman smiles drunkenly. “Awww, Logie was worried! That must mean ya really like me!” He stumbled as Logan led him to an open seat.

“Roman,” Logan said, everything else he’d wanted to say caught in his throat.

“What, doll?” Roman asked, leaning into Logan.

“Did you spend the entire time you were gone drinking?” Logan asked, trying to ignore the electricity that crackled along his points of contact with Roman.

“Maybe. Are you jelly?” Roman answered in a sing-song voice.

“We’re going home, right now,” Logan snapped as he stood up.

Roman pulled Logan down into his lap. “Noooooo,” he whined. “Come on, Logie, the night is young and so are we!”

“We are going home even if I have to drag you out of here,” Logan threatened as he tried to wiggle out of Roman’s grasp.

“Please? Come on, live a little! Have a few drinks! stay!” Roman begged, gripping Logan tighter.

“Roman, it’s for the best,” Logan sighed, giving up on escaping Roman’s grasp.

Roman’s mood did a complete 180. “Ugh, you always do this. ‘It’s for the best. I’m right. Roman, no.’ No wonder you’re still a virgin!”

“What?” Logan asked, completely shocked that Roman would dare say anything like that.

“You’re too uptight for any girl to even think of looking at you, let alone fucking you,” Roman hissed, shoving Logan out of his lap.

“Fuck you!” Logan yelled as he shoved himself back to his feet.

“You wish, darling,” Roman retorted with a wink.

Logan snarled, “you know what? Find your own way home, you fucking bastard!” He didn’t care about the crowd forming, the people staring.

“Good! I didn’t even want you here! Patton forced me to ask you to come!” Roman yelled back.

“Goodbye, Roman,” Logan said coldly. He stomped off into the kitchen with the sole purpose of getting so drunk that he wouldn’t be able to remember his own name, let alone Roman. After downing his first beer, Logan realized this wasn’t the best plan and decided to nurse a few beers and calm down.

About two hours later, Logan was reading on his phone; when he heard Roman yell, “Logie!”

“Leave me alone,” Logan grumbled as Roman slid into the seat right next to him.

“Someone’s a grump” Roman teased, leaning onto Logan.

“I’m serious, fuck off,” Logan said, shoving Roman away.

Roman crawled into Logan’s lap. “Nah, Imma stay right here.”

“Roman, get off of me,” Logan said, desperately trying to push Roman off of him.

Roman gripped onto Logan tightly. “Nooooo, you’re warm,” he mumbled into Logan’s neck.

Logan sighed. “How drunk are you now? Not that long ago you were screaming at me.”

“Sorry, Logie,” Roman replied, keeping his face in Logan’s neck.

“Roman, answer my question,” Logan said firmly.

Roman giggled, and asked, “how drunk are you?”

Logan sighed. “Roman, I swear,” he grumbled as he shifted so Roman fit more comfortably on his lap.

Roman made a sound of protest at the movement. “Logie, I’ll answer yours if you answer mine.”

“I’ve had 3 beers, happy?” Logan answered with a roll of his eyes.

“Very. I’ve had maybe 5 shots, some coke and rum, and possibly a few beers. I don’t know!” Roman replied, smiling dopily.

Logan’s eyes widened. “Roman! That’s way too much!”

“Maybe if I drink enough, it’ll reset!” Roman suggested, still smiling.

Logan groaned in annoyance. “That’s not how alcohol works,” he said. “Come on, we’re going home.”

Roman teased, “Ooh, taking me home? We haven’t even had our first date yet!” Roman teased with a wink.

“Shut up,” Logan replied, standing and heaving Roman into his arms.

Roman didn’t even seem to notice the movement. “You know, you are a cutie.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Roman, if you don’t stop talking, I’ll make you,” he threatened.

“Kinky,” Roman joked, burying his face into Logan’s neck.

“I will drop you,” Logan said, but it was clear that he wouldn’t dare do it.

Roman replied, “scary” before sticking his tongue out at Logan.

“Whatever,” Logan sighed, rolling his eyes and placing Roman in his car.

Logan tried to drive as safely as he could, but drunk Roman was a flirt and wouldn’t stop rubbing his hand along Logan’s thigh, slowly inching closer to Logan’s crotch. Luckily, Logan managed to pull into his driveway before he crashed the car.

They both walked up to Logan’s room, the air crackling with electricity. Logan’s heart was beating out of his chest and he tried to figure out how he was going to avoid falling for Roman’s charms. The moment Roman entered the room, he closed and locked the door before advancing onto Logan.

“Roman, knock it off,” Logan said when Roman pushed him onto the bed and straddled him, his voice cracking a little.

Roman smiled sweetly at Logan. “Why?”

Logan gulped., “Because you’re drunk”

“Sooooo?” Roman asked, not a trace of innocence left in his voice.

“You wouldn’t want this otherwise,” unable to look Roman in the eyes.

Roman brushed his lips against Logan’s throat and replied, “I want it now.” His voice soft and low.

“Roman, please,” Logan said, his resolve slowly falling.

“Please, what?” Roman asked as he pressed his chest against Logan’s chest.

Logan answered, “Stop before you do something you’ll regret.”

Roman tilted his head and he replied, “Will you regret it?”

“Yes,” Logan said in a breathy voice.

Roman looked at Logan with half-lidded eyes, full of lust. “Why? We’re just having fun,” He asked as Logan squirmed underneath him.

“You’re drunk,” Logan weakly protested.

“I don’t care. I want you” Roman replied in a husky voice.

Logan closed his eyes in an attempted to get his raising thoughts together. “Roman,” he said, his voice full of longing.

“I like how you say my name” Roman whispered in Logan’s ear, his breath warm and his voice intoxicating.

At that moment all of Logan’s resolve snaps and he kisses Roman. There was no love in that kiss, it was fierce and full of lust. It was battle that Logan would be happy to lose even if there was never going to be a rematch.

“I know I’ll regret this,” Logan muttered when they broke apart for some air.

Roman smirked and whispered, “Live in the now darling.”


	10. Chapter 10

Logan’s heart is beating out of his chest and his thoughts are running wild by the time he gets home. He shrugs off his jacket before running up to his room, ignoring his mothers questions as they follow him up the stairs. He quickly closed and locked the door as he took a minute to breathe and collect himself before calling Patton.

“Pat, I need help,” Logan says the moment Patton answers his phone.

“What happened?” Patton asks worriedly. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Logan says, pausing hesitantly. “…Roman touched my hand and I have no idea if it was an accident or not.”

“Aaaaawwww! You two are adorable!” Patton replies, glad his friend wasn’t in trouble.

Logan sighs. “Pat, please coo later,” he responds, sounding on edge.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Patton replies before asking, “why don’t you come over, so we can talk about this in person?”

“Sure… I’ll be there in a few minutes,” Logan answers as he grabs his car keys, telling his mom he would be home soon and getting ready to go. Before long, he found himself at Patton’s front door. He knocked, and Patton answered within moments, his smile kind and curious.

“Hey, how are you?” Patton asks, leading Logan inside the house and towards the kitchen.

“Emotionally confused,” Logan answers truthfully.

“Well, you’ve come to the right place,” Patton replies. “Take a seat and tell Papa Pat what happened!” he offers as he pats the chair beside him.

“Please don’t refer to yourself as Papa Patton,” Logan groans, sitting down.

Patton laughs. “Nope! Papa is here to stay.”

“I am just going to ignore that,” Logan replies, putting his face in his hands.

“Do whatever you want, kiddo, Papa supports you!” Patton jokes, having the time of his life messing with Logan.

Logan groanes frustratedly as he lifts his hands out of his face.

Patton chuckles before replying, “now tell me everything that happened.”

“Roman and I were hanging out,” Logan responds, his hands fidgeting a little.

“Something you two have been doing more often,” Patton says, nodding.

“Yes, because I missed him,” Logan replies.

“I know, now go on,” Patton says.

“Everything was how it normally is, teasing and arguing,” Logan says, fidgeting faster.

“So you guys were flirting?” Patton asks, teasing Logan a little.

“No!” Logan says quickly. Then: “I mean — Maybe. I was, but I don’t know about Roman,” he says in a rush, flushing red..

“He probably was,” Patton says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Logan ignores Patton and says, “anyway, when he was driving me home he took my hand and held it the entire way home.”

“Lo! That doesn’t sound like he accidentally touched your hand to me!” Patton yells, clearly excited.

“I know! But maybe he did and was too polite to retract it?” Logan replies awkwardly.

“Does that really sound like Roman to you?” Patton asks, giving Logan his signature dad look.

Logan answers, “Pat, I do not understand emotions that well. That’s why I came to you.”

“I know, but I thought you were smarter than this,” Patton jokes.

“Me too,” Logan mumbles, obviously feeling upset.

A sudden realization dawns on Patton. “Logan… is this really about Roman holding your hand?”

“No,” Logan whispers, not meeting Patton’s concerned gaze.

“What is it about then?” Patton asks.

“It’s just —” Logan pauses hesitantly. “I’ve fallen for him again and I have no clue what to do,” he finishes after a few silent moments.

“Well… I think you should take a chance. He clearly likes you back!” Patton replies optimistically, smiling.

Logan cringed at the thought. “Pat-”

Patton interrupts him swiftly. “No, we’ve had this conversation before and it always ends the same: with you ignoring your feelings and ending up hurt.”

Logan replies, “I know, but it’s safer that way.”

“Take a chance! Rewrite the ending!” Patton says, deciding that he couldn’t let this conversation end the same way it had all those years ago.

“How? From what I’ve seen the ending is set in stone,” Logan mutters, looking dejected.

Patton shakes his head. “You don’t know that!” he replies firmly. “Logan, please, it’s frustratingly sad to see you sabotage yourself because you’re afraid of your own feelings.”

“I’m not afraid of feelings, I’m afraid of their outcome,” Logan argues, always one to correct others.

“I know… but think about the good that could come from it!” Patton replies.

“I leave in a few days,” Logan says. “The only good thing that could come from me confessing is the infinitesimal possibility that he wants me back.”

“How is that the only good thing?” Patton asks. “You two could be in a long distance relationship!” he argues, trying to get Logan to see how illogical he was being.

“Those rarely work,” Logan responds, still avoiding Patton’s eyes.

“Me and Virgil worked!”

“You and Virgil are a statistical anomaly,” Logan said weakly.

Patton threw his hands up in frustration. “No, we’re not. We put in the effort to make it work. I’m not going to tell you it was easy — sometimes I was certain that you were right. That me and Virgil were destined to fail. But we kept working and — and it worked out!”

“Patton, most couples do not put in the level of effort you and Virgil did,” Logan sighs.

“So would you not put in the effort?”

“That’s not what I’m saying!” Logan replies, offended that Patton would even think that.

“Then why does it matter? You are not a statistic, you are a person!” Patton replies, clearly not one to give up.

“Roman might not put in the effort!” Logan snaps.

A moment passes in pure silence as both of them realize the weight of Logan’s words.. The tension drains out of Logan’s body as he slumps over the table.

“Logan, have you seen him when he wants something? He is relentless and unyielding,” Patton says softly.

“He wouldn’t want me,” Logan whispers, heartbroken, finally meeting Patton’s gaze. “Especially after what I did,” his mind finishes when his voice fails.

“Trust me, he wants you,” Patton replies.

“How do you know? I can’t risk it,” Logan says, shaking his head.

“I know because I know what a love-stricken face looks like, and it’s a face Roman wears every time he looks at you,” Patton answers.

“Why haven’t I seen it?” Logan asks.

“Because you’re willfully blind. You would rather believe that, because of that one night, he doesn’t love you,” Patton answers truthfully.

“Why would he?” Logan yells, his words shaking with anger. “He trusted me to protect him and I went and took advantage of him!” He couldn’t believe Patton had mentioned that night.

“I’m not saying what you did was right, but it’s more complicated then you’re making out to be. We both know how drunk Roman acts, how he won’t take no for an answer,” Patton replies, throwing his hands up.

“But —” Logan begins, ready to deny anything Patton says.

“No buts, he also took advantage of you. From what you told me, he was insistent. You both are to blame for that mess.” He isn’t going to allow Logan to deny the truth any longer.

“It’s just… hard for me to forgive myself,” Logan tiredly sighs. He just wants this conversation to be over with.

“I know… but you have to,” Patton gently replies.

Logan smiles sadly.. “…Thank you.”

“For what? I was just helping a friend,” Patton says, smiling back.

“I know, but you’ve also dealt with me for all these years,” Logan answers, glad to be done fighting.

Patton raises an eyebrow. “Dealing with you has been one of the best things in my life.”

“Mine too,” Logan replies honestly, tone heavy with exhaustion and relief.

For the rest of the evening they chatted, ate dinner and watched TV, things that friends normally do, but the entire time Logan couldn’t help but replay the conversation in his head, especially the parts where Patton told him to take a chance and that Roman loved him. As Logan fell asleep that night he vowed to take Patton’s advice and finally confess his feeling to Roman.

He could only hope that Patton was right.


	11. Chapter 11

Roman had been trying to get in contact for the past week, but every time he called he just got the same voicemail.

“Salutations. I am not able to answer at the moment. Leave your message after the automated beep.”

It was slowly driving him mad. At first, he was annoyed that Logan couldn’t make time for him as he did at the start of the school year, but now he was just worried. Why wasn’t Logan picking up?

He decided to give Virgil a call, just to make sure Logan was okay. “Hey, Virge,” he said when Virgil answered.

“Sup, whatcha need?” Virgil replied, voice gravelly and tired as though he had just woken up.

“I was just wondering if you’ve heard from Logan recently,” he asked nervously. “I haven’t been able to get a hold of him.”

“Uh, yeah? He just helped me with my homework over Skype,” Virgil answered, clearly confused.

“Really?” Roman asked, surprised that Logan wasn’t busy like he’d hoped.

“Yeah, uh… I mean, he had to go to class afterward and he had to work before it, but… yeah,” Virgil replied.

Roman hopefully asked, “oh, maybe I tried to call him while he was working?”

“Probably, when did you call him?”

“Around 1:30, I think,” Roman answered, thinking back. He’d tried to call Logan to complain about his parents’ newest bullshit, to find some sort of solace, but all he’d found was Logan’s stupid voicemail.

“Hmm, weird,” Virgil said slowly, sounding as if he just realized something.

Roman felt a spike of nervousness. “What’s weird?”

“He was helping me then,” Virgil answered, yawning.

“Really?” Roman replied, surprised that Logan didn’t at least text him then to tell him that he was busy with Virgil. Was Logan… ignoring him?

“Mmmhhhmm, I was wondering who called him,” Virgil said.

“Do you know if he was planning to call me back?” Roman asked, tapping his foot anxiously.

“No, why? Do you have something important to tell him? I can give him a message if you want,” Virgil replied, his voice taking on a nervous edge.

“No, no, I was just… worried,” Roman answered. “He hasn’t been answering my calls for an entire week, and I thought something bad happened to him.”

“Oh,” Virgil said quietly.

“Oh? Why oh?” Roman asked, sounding on edge.

Virgil took a deep breath. “Just… don’t freak out, okay? Promise?”

“Virgil, you know I won’t make a promise I’m not certain I can keep,” Roman replied, running a hand through his hair.

“Ok, well… try not to freak out then,” Virgil said.

“I’ll try,” Roman promised, his heart pounding.

There was a long, charged, silent pause. Then: “I think Logan may be avoiding you.”

“What?! Why?!” Roman asked, his worry for Logan turning to pain.

“I don’t know why. He hasn’t told me yet. But he did tell me in passing that things were ‘weird’ between you two now,” Virgil said in a jumbled rush.

“What? Why would they be weird?” Roman asked, trying to stay calm.

“Dude, cool it with the questions. That’s literally everything I know,” Virgil replied, sensing how on edge Roman was.

Roman took a couple deep breaths before asking, “can you get more information for me?”

“Sorry, dude, I’m not that type of person… maybe try Pat? He’s the closest to Logan, so he’s bound to know,” Virgil answered, sounding genuinely upset.

“Ok, thanks, I — I’ll talk to you later. I gotta go to class,” Roman replied quickly.

“Seeya,” Virgil said, and then, as an afterthought: “Oh, by the way, Patton is thinking of doing weekly skype sessions to keep us all close, so be prepared for him to hit you up about it.”

"Thanks,” Roman replied absentmindedly as he got his stuff together,

“No prob, deuces,” Virgil said before hanging up.

Roman spent his entire class trying to figure out why Logan was ignoring him, barely even hearing what the teacher was saying. At the end of class, he wrote down the assignment even though he knew he would be unable to do it, and ran to his dorm to call Patton.

“Hey, Pat?” Roman asked when Patton picked up the phone.

Patton cheerily replied, “hey, kiddo! What’s up?”

“This is going to sound a little weird, but is Logan avoiding me?” Roman asked, mentally preparing himself for the answer.

Patton took a deep breath. “Now, don’t be upset, but he is. I’m talking to him and trying to change his mind, he’s just in a weird place right now.”

“I… I understand, thank you for being honest with me,” Roman replied, trying to sound put together even though for some reason it felt like his heart was breaking.

“Well, lying is always wrong,” Patton responded.

“I’m sure Logan would debate that with you,” Roman said, forcing himself to smile.

“Logan would debate anything with anyone if he was given the chance” Patton replied, still trying to make Roman feel better.

“Do I know that,” Roman said, chuckling a little at the memories of all the arguments they’ve gotten into over the years.

“He’s still a good person, though,” Patton responded softly.

Roman nodded and wistfully agreed. “Yeah, he is.”

“I’m trying to change his mind, just hold out a little longer. I think I can win this argument!” Patton said confidently.

Roman believed him. If anyone could change Logan’s mind, it was Patton. “Thanks, padre. It’s just that I… I miss him,” he replied, sitting down.

“That’s valid, kiddo,” Patton reassured. “Honestly, I would be more worried if you weren’t upset by this.”

“You’ll tell me if he gets hurt, right?” Roman asked.

“Of course! You don’t have to worry about that,” Patton answered.

“Thanks,” Roman replied softly. Not for the first time he was glad to have Patton as a friend.

“No problem,” Patton said.

“So… how have you been?” Roman asked, desperate to change the subject.

Patton happily answered, “great! Mine and Virgil’s 6-month anniversary is coming up!” He was clearly glad for the change of subjects.

“Really? It’s been that long since prom?” Roman replied, wondering where the time had gone. Just yesterday it felt like they were complaining about teachers over lunch.

“Yeah, time flies, doesn’t it?” Patton asked, sounding a bit wistful.

“Sure does. Are you and Virge still going strong?” Roman asked, trying to keep Patton from thinking negative thoughts.

“Yep! We have a Skype schedule so we talk pretty frequently. Oh! That reminds me! I was thinking of doing Skype calls with all of you so we can stay in touch!” Patton answered, his mood doing a complete 180.

“That sounds great! My schedule is still in the works. but I’ll send you anything you need when it’s set,” Roman replied, mentally picturing what his schedule should be.

“Thanks, kiddo!” Patton cheerfully responded.

Roman smiled to himself. “No problem, Pat.”

“Besides the Logan thing, how have you been?” Paton asked, his Dad-Tone creeping into his voice. “Eating, drinking?”

“Don’t worry, padre. I’ve been eating and I am thoroughly hydrated,” Roman answered, comforted by Patton’s parental worry.

“Good! School’s not too stressful?” Patton asked, and Roman could hear the smile in his voice.

“The only stressful part of it is my parents,” Roman replied, chuckling to mask the painful truth to the statement.

“Still getting on your case about theater?” Patton responded worriedly, seeing right through Roman’s chuckle.

“Yeah, but… they’re not wrong,” Roman said, a bit sadly, a bit awkwardly.

“Doesn’t make what they’re doing right,” Patton retorted, refusing to allow his friend to believe all the lies his parents feed him.

“I know, but what can I do? They’re my parents, they just want what’s best for me,” Roman said, feeling the need to defend his parents even though they weren’t always the best.

“They want what they think is best for you,” Patton said softly, making sure to emphasize the thinking part.

“So?” Roman asked, shrugging a little.

“So,” Patton answered, “sometimes it can do more harm than good.”

Roman weakly replied, “it’s the thought that counts.”

“When giving gifts, not when trying to control your kid’s life,” Patton argued.

“It’s only a little while longer! Then I’m free,” Roman said, checking the time.

“You call four years a little while?” Patton asked, surprised at how long Roman was willing to bear the pain.

“I have to,” Roman answered, obviously just pretending that everything was fine.

“You shouldn’t,” Patton said meekly, the sorrow in Roman’s voice giving him pause.

“I know. Hey, I got to go, but I’ll talk to you later?” Roman offered.

“Okay, take care,” Patton responded, worry clear in his voice.

“I will,” Roman said in a way he prayed was convincing.


	12. Chapter 12

Roman is freaking out.

He had an idea, but no plan, and he knew there was only one person who he could trust to help him with this: Virgil. Sadly, he was to busy freaking out about his feelings that he didn’t notice he forgot his phone at home. Normally, this would have been fine, but he had also forgotten to call Virgil, so he had no way to get in.

“Virge!” Roman yells at Virgil’s open window.

Virgil sticks his head out the window and shouts back, looking shocked. “What do you want? And stop yelling at my apartment!”

“Help! I want help!” Roman yells, ignoring the stares he was getting.

“So you’re finally admitting you need help, after all these years?” Virgil replies, laughing to himself.

“Fuck you!” Roman yells up at Virgil, trying to sound mad, but his laughter breaks through despite his best efforts.

Virgil sticks out his tongue and jokes, “Pat’s already on it!”

Roman laughs even harder. “Just let me in, Mr. Doom and Gloom!”

“Really lacking on those nicknames today, aren’t we?” Virgil asks, clearly in a good mood.

“Virge! Just let me in! Don’t make me sing Frozen at you” Roman threatens.

“Okay, okay, just give me a minute before you embarrass yourself,” Virgil replies with a fond laugh before walking away from the window.

“Meanie,” Roman yells towards the now-empty window.

After about a minute, Virgil popped his head out of the door and gestured for Roman to follow him. They were silent the entire way up to the apartment. Virgil didn’t want to push Roman, and Roman had no idea how to start the conversation.

“So… what do ya need?” Virgil asks as he unlocks his apartment door.

Roman takes a deep breath and begins. “So I like Logan —”

“No shit Sherlock,” Virgil interrupts dryly, raising an eyebrow.

“Hush,” Roman says sharply. He paused. “Wait, you knew?”

“I’m pretty sure everyone but Logan knows. You ain’t that subtle,” Virgil answers, rolling his eyes.

“I’m not?” Roman asks disbelievingly.

Virgil smirks. “Not at all”

“Wow,” Roman replies in shock as he shook his head.

“Yep,” Virgil says awkwardly, unsure of how to continue this conversation.

“So anyway — as you clearly know — I like Logan and I want to ask him out. How?” Roman asks, pushing past his awkwardness.

Virgil’s eyes widen and he chokes. “What?”

“How do I ask him out?” Roman says, rephrasing his question.

Virgil is still in a state of shock. “You’re asking me to help you ask Logan out?” he says slowly, eyes wide.

Roman sighs. “Yes, obviously,” Roman says, wondering why Virgil’s having so much trouble with this.

“Why?” Virgil asks, clearly confused.

Roman answers, “because you’ve been in a happy relationship for four years,” gesturing in a way that says, “c'mon dude”

“You do know Patton asked me out, right?” Virgil replies, trying to figure out what made Roman think he was qualified to help with anything romantic.

Roman shrugs. “Yeah, so?”

“And that Patton is closer to Logan than I am,” Virgil continues, listing another reason why is he was not fit to help.

“And?” Roman asks insistently, not at all getting Virgil’s point.

Virgil decided to cut to the chase. “Why didn’t you ask him to help?” he replies, giving Roman a look.

“He’d blab in an instant and we both know that,” Roman says, shooting Virgil a look right back.

“You think I won’t?” Virgil asks, raising an eyebrow. The question was clearly a challenge.

“Not at all,” Roman answers, never one to turn down a challenge even if he didn’t exactly know what the challenge was.

Virgil’s face breaks out into a grin. “I am going to call Logan right now and tell him that you like him.”

“Don’t you dare!” Roman yells furiously, his mind already coming up with all the ways that could ruin his friendship with Logan.

Virgil holds his hands up in surrender. “Dude, I was kidding, I’d be too fucking anxious.”

“I know, I just want this to go right,” Roman responds, running his hand through his hair.

Virgil says, “you could throw a dead fish that says ‘I love you’ at him and he’d still go out with you.”

“He wouldn’t,” Roman replies, shaking his head.

Virgil raised his eyebrows and argues “He would.”

“Wouldn’t!”

“Would too,” Virgil argues in a sing-song voice.

“Wouldn’t,” Roman protests childishly, sounding like he’s about to start stomping his foot.

“Okay, we’re not little kids, chill,” Virgil deadpans “Trust me on this! Logan wears his heart on his sleeve, just like you do,” he finishes, smiling to himself.

“He… does?” Roman asks, his voice holding hope similar to that of a child.

“Yeah, he looks at you like you hold the answers to all his questions,” Virgil answers solemnly, nodding.

“I wish I did,” Roman says wistfully.

“He believes you do,” Virgil says, staring Roman in the eyes.

Roman looks away as he whispers, “I’m gonna disappoint him then.”

“You couldn’t,” Virgil replies, upset that Roman would say that about himself.

“Just tell me how to ask him out, please,” Roman grumbles, still looking at the ground.

“First, admit you’re good enough,” Virgil insists, placing his hands on his hips.

Roman chuckles awkwardly. “Virgil, you’re starting to sound like Patton.”

Virgil’s expression doesn’t change. “It’s from spending all this time with him, now do it.

Roman sighed before giving in. "Fine, I’m good enough, happy?”

“Not really, I wish you would believe it, but… this is a start,” Virgil says, nodding.

“I’m sorry, he’s just so amazing and I’m just… me,” Roman muttered, racking his hand through his hair.

Virgil can’t help but chuckle a bit as he asks, “you know he would say the same thing about himself?”

“I’ll fight him until he sees how amazing he is,” Roman responds instantly, his eyes full of fire.

“Calm down, loverboy,” Virgil jokes, laughing good-naturedly.

Roman shook his head. “No! I’ll also fight anyone who makes him feel bad,” he declares, smiling happily.

“Get in line,” Virgil teases.

“I should be first in line because of how much I love him,” Roman protests, faking offense.

Virgil raised his eyebrows. “We both know Patton is first in line to fight anyone who insults any of us”

“I’ll be second in line, then!” Roman replies, so seriously that Virgil has to fight to contain his laughter.

“That makes me last,” Virgil responds once his laughter is under control.

“No, that makes you third,” Roman argues.

“Yeah, last,” Virgil says as he used the universal hand sign for come on.

It takes Roman a moment to get it, but when he does, his eyes widen. "Wait, does Logan not have any more friends?“

"He does, but… they wouldn’t fight for him,” Virgil answers, his voice full of contempt.

“Those aren’t friends,” Roman growls in a way that can only be described as venomous.

Virgil places a hand on Roman’s shoulder. “Roman, chill, friends don’t need to murder people for you.”

“Would you murder someone for your friends?” Roman asks, his voice still full of contempt.

“…Yeah, but that doesn’t prove anything,” Virgil answers with a shrug.

“I think it proves everything,” Roman says, his voice cold as ice.

“So, what, are you just gonna kill someone to ask Logan out?” Virgil asks jokingly, trying to ease the situation.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Roman answers dryly, nothing about him indicating he was joking.

“That sounds like a crime!” Virgil cries, instantly worried.

“Or… something fun to do,” Roman says, cracking an almost invisible smile.

“Roman!” Virgil yells, shoving Roman a little.

Roman throws his hands up and laughs “Okay, I’m sorry! I was just joking!”

“Why don’t I believe you?” Virgil asks with a sigh.

“Because you have trust issues?” Roman answers, still laughing.

“That was a rhetoric question, you idiot,” Virgil replies, snorting.

“Logan, is that you? Are you sending your spirit through Virgil?” Roman asks jokingly, choking back laughter.

“You wish,” Virgil retorts, sticking his tongue out at Roman.

“My darling, are you still there? Speak to me! I love you!” Roman cries, dramatically falling to his knees.

Virgil pushes Roman over. “Fuck you!”

“Love ya too, Virge,” Roman says with a laugh, from the ground, winking at Virgil.

“I hate you,” Virgil groans, though the smile on his face says otherwise.

Roman rolls his eyes. “Sure you do.”

“I’m going to get Logan to stab you,” Virgil threatens, trying to sound serious even though he’s on the verge of losing his shit.

“God, that would be hot,” Roman says before bursting out into laughter.

“Oh my god! Shut up!” Virgil yells, burying his face in his hands with an exasperated groan. “That is the worst thing you have ever said!” he cries as he pretends to puke.

Roman’s eyes light up evilly. “Even worse than 'I would have a three-way with Mike and Sully’?”

“I’m disowning you, Patton is no longer your dad,” Virgil replies dryly, flopping onto the floor next to Roman and staring at the ceiling.

Roman makes a loud, offended noise. “That’s not how that works!”

“He’s going to be my husband, so that would make me your dad and the disownment would carry over,” Virgil explains as he turns to face Roman.

“You gonna disown Logan too?” Roman asked, raising his eyebrows at Virgil.

“No, he is a good boy,” Virgil answers solemnly.

"Even when he marries me?” Roman replies teasingly.

Virgil teases, “you have to ask him out first,” before deviously laughing.

“Ugh! Don’t remind me,” Roman groans, moving to stare up at the ceiling.

“Just gather together your feelings and tell him you want to fuck him,” Virgil jokes, loving this opportunity to tease the shit out of Roman.

“It’s more than that!” Roman yelled, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Really?” Virgil asks. “‘Cause you didn’t seem that interested in him during high school.”

“Yeah, but I was dumb then! Now I am wise and I realize how amazing Logan is,” Roman protests, cursing his dumb teenage self.

“If you’re in love with high school Logan, you’re in love with someone who doesn’t exist,” Virgil says softly, not wanting Roman to hurt Logan over some fantasy that would never come true.

Roman turned to Virgil. “Can I tell you a secret?” he asks, staring him directly in the eyes.

“Go ahead,” Virgil answers, curious.

Roman pauses for dramatic effect. Then: “I think I’ve fallen head over heels for present Logan,” he whispers.

“That quickly?” Virgil asks.

Roman bites his lip and nods. “Yeah, that quickly,” he answered, softly.

“I think this is the worst thing you’ve ever done,” Virgil says sincerely.

Roman raises his eyebrows. “Why?”

“Because you’ve already broken his heart once,” Virgil answers, and the moment those words finished leaving his lips, the room was engulfed in silence.

ABOUT  
portrait  
Jamie | 16 | They/Them | Header Credit: @logicaly-asexual on tumblr | Icon Credit: @dailylogandoodle | Please ask me abou the wolf costume for Into The Woods


	13. Chapter 13

Logan was surprised when his mom told him that someone wanted to see him. He was even more surprised when he saw Roman waiting awkwardly on the front porch.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” Roman asks when Logan steps outside.

“Yes, what do you need?” Logan answers as he led Roman away from the house, not wanting his mother to overhear them.

“We’re… friends, right?” Roman asks, looking anywhere but Logan.

“I would agree with that statement,” Logan replies, nervous about what Roman wanted to discuss.

“And we’ll be friends no matter what?” Roman continues, looking for reassurance.

Logan glances at him. “To a… reasonable degree, yes”

“Define reasonable,” Roman jokes anxiously, the corners of his mouth turning up just a little.

Logan replies, “websters defines reasonable as not extreme or excessive,” curious as to why Roman needed the word reasonable defined for him.

Roman smiles nervously. “First of all, that was a joke.”

“And secondly?” Logan asks, tilting his head a bit to the side.

“I don’t… have a second point,” Roman admits, scratching the back of his neck.

Logan furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "Then why did you say ‘first of all’?“ 

"To emphasize my point,” Roman says, shrugging.

Logan glances at Roman. “Which was?”

Roman sighs, mildly impressed that even after all these years Logan still has trouble with figurative language. “That it was a joke,” he answers, smiling a little.

Logan nods. “That is an acceptable answer”

“Thanks, I guess?” Roman says although the tone made it sound more like a question.

“You’re welcome. Now I am going to assume that you did not come here just to ask if we are friends,” Logan says, stopping to look at Roman.

“You right, you right,” Roman says.

“Your grammar is incorrect, but I will let it pass. What did you come here to discuss?” Logan asks.

“Not really discuss… more like confess,” Roman answers sheepishly, looking away.

Logan continues walking. “And what do you need to confess?”

“I’m worried,” Roman says, staring at his feet as they walked.

Logan bites his lip, glancing at Roman as he responds, “about what?”

Roman mumbles, “losing you over something stupid,” scared to death about losing Logan.

“I am… not sure I understand what you’re saying,” Logan says, clearly perplexed by the situation.

“I’m saying — well, more like asking you, possibly begging you not to leave,” Roman says in a rush, tripping over his words and seeming like he would rather be anywhere else.

“Why would I leave?” Logan asks, wishing he could comfort Roman.

“Because you might think what I’m about to tell you is disgusting?” Roman answers, voice wavering as though he’s on the verge of tears.

Logan stopped and looked Roman directly in the eyes.“Roman, nothing about you is disgusting.”

“You sure about that?” Roman asks, trying to joke but completely failing.

“Absolutely positive,” Logan answers, completely heartbroken that Roman would ever think that about himself.

“Ok…” Roman says before taking a deep breath and confessing, "I like you.“

For a moment Logan is filled with the hope that Roman feels the same way, but he quickly shoots that hope down. "I enjoy you too Roman. We’re friends,” he replies, smiling gently.

“That’s not what I mean,” Roman whispers, running his hand through his hair.

“I don’t understand,” Logan says, his mind reeling.

Roman didn’t dare lift his head as he continues. “I think — no, I know I’ve fallen for you.”

“Ro —” Logan replies, his face breaking out into a grin.

“I know you don’t feel the same, but I had to say something,” Roman continues, too caught up in his own thoughts to hear Logan.

“Roman,” Logan says, a bit more forcefully.

Once again Roman didn’t hear him. “And if you want to stop talking to me again, that’s fine,” Roman mumbles, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

“Roman!” Logan yells, wondering how he ever fell in love with such an idiot.

Roman finally lifts his head. “Yes?”

“I’ve fallen for you too,” Logan answers ecstatically, and for the first time in a long time, he felt positively giddy.

“Really?” Roman replies, unable to believe what he’s hearing.

Logan nods. “Yes! I fell in love with you years ago and I have just been ignoring it.”

“You’ve loved me for years?” Roman whispers, more to himself than anyone else.

“Since high school,” Logan confesses after taking a deep breath.

“Then… why did you stop talking to me?” Roman asks, still unable to believe it.

Logan pauses for a moment. He wasn’t expecting that. “I was scared. I’m still scared. You… you have the power to destroy without even trying,” he answers, surprised at how strong his voice came out despite the turmoil raging within.

“I would never!” Roman exclaims, shocked that Logan would ever think that about him.

It’s Logan’s turn to look away. “But you can, and that terrifies me.”

“Lo, I’m sorry for whatever I did to make you feel like that,” Roman replies, blinking back tears.

Logan shakes his head. “Roman, no. I should be the one apologizing. I’ve made so many mistakes. I hurt you, so much,” he whispers, as memories of that night flood his mind.

“I forgive you! I love you,” Roman says, grabbing Logan’s shoulders.

Logan jerks away. “No, you don’t even know the full extent of what I’ve done,” he mumbles, unable to speak up as the words refuse to leave his throat.

“I don’t care. I love you no matter what,” Roman insists, tears blurring his vision.

“Roman, I slept with you when you were drunk!” Logan yells, hating every single part of himself.

Everything stopped, and Roman whispered, “you did what?”

Logan cringes, unable to look at Roman. “The night of prom, we had sex while you were drunk,” he answers, sounding like he’s about to cry.

“Leave,” Roman says, backing away from Logan, betrayal flashing in his eyes.

“What?” Logan asks as he blinks away tears.

Roman sneered. “Go! I don’t want to see you ever again!”

“Roman, please!” Logan begged heartbrokenly.

Roman doesn’t even spare Logan a second glance as he continues. “No! Don’t “Roman, please” me! You were my friend —”

“Were?” Logan interrupts, sounding utterly heartbroken.

“Yes, were! You can’t expect me to still be your friend after this! You took advantage of me! You could have walked away the moment you got me home! Left me at the party, even! But you didn’t! You betrayed my trust! You betrayed me and now you act like the victim! No! I won’t allow it!” Roman rants, hating Logan, but also hating that this wasn’t a different person, that it was the same Logan who he fell in love with, the same Logan who made Roman smile because he usually didn’t have a clue what anyone was feeling, the same Logan who for years lied and deceived Roman.

“Roman, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you,” Logan whispers, crying.

Roman just glares. “It doesn’t matter what you meant, it matters what you did.”

Logan grabs Roman’s shoulder and begs “Please try to understand. I regret it.”

“I don’t care!” Roman growls, pushing Logan away before continuing, “you didn’t even fucking own up to it for years!”

Logan opens his mouth to say something, but Roman swiftly cuts him off. “No! You don’t get to talk. You had years to talk to me about this, but you didn’t. Do you understand that I stopped drinking because other people did the same exact thing you did? But you know what? You’re worse than them because I trusted you,” Roman cries, his tears almost blinding him.

“I want to fix this. Tell me how to fix this,” Logan asks. He really did want to fix it, but he had no idea how.

Roman scoffs. “Figure it out yourself”

Logan sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Roman —”

“I’m leaving,” Roman interjects, walking away, trying to pretend like he wasn’t bawling his eyes out.

When he got home, he flopped onto his bed and called Patton, needing to vent to someone. It took a few rings before Patton answered, “Hiya Ro! How are you?”

Roman swallows before sighing. “Honestly? Bad, really bad,”

“What happened, kiddo?” Patton asks, immediately switching into dad mode.

Roman cringes. “Well… um, this is kinda hard to say,” he says, stumbling over his words.

“That’s okay, take your time,” Patton says in a calming tone.

“Okay…” Roman replies, before taking a deep breath and collecting his thoughts. “You know how I used to get super drunk all the time?” he asks, even though he knows the answer.

A pit of worry settles in Patton’s stomach. “Yeah? Did something happen?”

“Kind of? It was a while ago, but I’m just finding out about it.” Roman pauses for a beat. “So, um… apparently Logan slept with me when I was so drunk that I didn’t remember it and then he lied to me. So yeah, that’s a thing. Help?”

“Oh, kiddo. Are you okay?” Patton asks, mildly relieved that the situation isn’t as bad as he thought.

Roman chews on his lip as he answers. “I don’t know? I’m really upset.”

“Did you talk to Logan about it? That may help you get some closure,” Patton replies, knowing that Roman has a proclivity towards dramatic reactions.

“Does yelling count?” Roman asks, cringing at the memory of his conversation with Logan.

Patton sighs. “Roman,” Patton scolds, in a voice that would put even the most disappointed dad to shame.

“Come on! I found out what happened after I found out my feelings weren’t as unrequited as I thought. It was an emotional rollercoaster of a time,” Roman protests in an attempt to defend himself.

“Well now you really need to talk to him,” Patton replies, giving Roman the look.

Roman runs a hand through his hair. “But Pat, I’m not sure if I can forgive him.”

Patton let out a soft sigh. “You don’t have to forgive him, but talk to him. It’ll help you find closure. Trust me,” he says, sounding like he’s on the verge of tears.

“…Okay, but I make no promises,” Roman responds after a long and heavy pause.

“That’s fine,” Patton sniffles.

Roman thinks for a moment, trying to figure out how to comfort Patton. “Thank you, by the way.”

“You know we’re all here for you, right?” Patton asks, once again sounding like a dad.

“I know,” Roman assures before sighing. “I have to go and sleep off some of these feelings.”

“See ya kiddo. Good luck,” Patton replies,d sounding tired himself.

Roman didn’t even bother changing before falling into a fitful sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Logan was surprised by the knock on his door. He was even more surprised by the person at the door.

“Roman?” Logan asks, his heart pounding in his throat.

Roman smiles awkwardly. “Hey…”

Logan bites his lip, trying to get ahold of his thoughts. “Um, hi? What are you doing here? I thought you never wanted to see me again,” he replies, glancing around.

Roman cringes a little, remembering the argument. “I didn’t, and I still kinda don’t, but… Patton told me to listen to your side of things,” he explains.

“Oh,” is all Logan could think to say.

“Yeah, so… tell me your side of things. What happened that night?” Roman prompts, wishing he had just stayed home.

Logan nodded. “You were really drunk and really insistent. I was a young dumb teen and I know that it doesn’t make it better, but I’m so sorry,” he says, rushing his words, almost as if he thought that if he spoke fast enough they wouldn’t exist.

Roman takes a deep breath. “Why did you lie to me?”

“What?” Logan replies, caught completely off guard by the question.

“I’m upset about what you did, but I’m even more upset that you didn’t tell me. You lied to me for years,” Roman says, feeling tears beginning to form in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Logan says again, his own tearful eyes mirroring Roman’s.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it. I need a reason,” Roman insists, forcing himself not to yell.

“It’s not a good one,” Logan confesses. His stomach churns and he hopes against hope that this won’t end in flames.

“There’s no good reason for what you did,” Roman retorts, unable to understand why Logan couldn’t just tell him.

Logan pauses, trying to figure out the best way to phrase it. “I… I was scared that you would… hate me.”

“Okay,” Roman replies, refusing to look at Logan.

“Do you hate me?” Logan asks, sounding like a small child that was afraid of being alone.

Roman sighed. “No, I don’t hate you.” Then, as a quiet, shattered afterthought: “I actually still love you.”

Logan sags with relief. “That’s great! I love you too, we can go on dates and —” He began ecstatically already planning a future with Roman.

Roman holds up his hand and interrupts. “Logan, no we can’t. I — something was broken between us, and even if we fix it, things won’t ever be the same,” he says regretfully.

Logan deflates. “Do you want to fix it?” he asks, sounding so small and scared, just like when they first meet.

Those words break Roman’s heart. “Oh, Logan. Of course, I want to fix it. I want to be friends with you again,” he answers as gently as he could.

“I can accept that.” Logan pauses., “So… friends?”

Roman wipes some tears from his eyes and agrees. “Friends.”

They talked for hours about everything and nothing, but mostly nothing. Both of them were hopeful for the future because it was all they had.


End file.
